Day: June 10, 2011
Cain Would Use Electric Fence, Alligators and Moat to Defend Borders
Put me in charge of the fence and it will be a twenty foot wall, barbed wire, electrified on the top. And on this side of the fence, I’d have that moat that President Obama talked about. And I would put those alligators in that moat!
— Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, quoted by Mediaite.
Anonymous Staffer Eloquently Defends Gingrich’s Vacation
In the wake of presidential candidate Newt Gingrich’s staff quitting his campaign en masse yesterday, the media has typically piled on the former Speaker of the House, saying that this third blow to his campaign (see: criticizing the Ryan budget plan, keeping a $500k account at Tiffany’s) would be deadly. However, like last time, when his then-spokesman Rick Tyler fired off his now classic, unbowed and unbeaten response, an anonymous campaign worker has risen to defend Newt, who just returned from a two-week cruise, in what has come to be known as Newtian Campaign Rhetorical Style:
The travel agent sent Newt on vacation for two weeks. Campaign staffers cannot tolerate candidates who might disrupt their comfortable world. The mass exodus started when the cowardly sensed the absence of the brave. They left timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to hear about the captain’s cocktail party on the cruise ship unloaded their desk drawers, taking their posters and their campaign buttons. Now they are left unemployed by their petty assumptions and sense of abandonment. But surely they could shame him into calling off his vacation. That is the way it always worked before. A lesser person could not have simply turned his back on his staff and cruised off into the sunset. But there, at the ship’s railing, as the ship’s horn blew, emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces — after his luxury vacation.
Rick Tyler’s original response after the jump.
Boy-Crazy Foley Thinks Sexting Weiner Should Resign
When I was confronted with the charges, I didn’t sit there and try to run the clock out. I said, this was wrong, and I resigned.
— Former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL), quoted by the New York Daily News, saying Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) should resign and ignoring the fact that he was pressured into resigning so he wouldn’t take House Speaker Dennis Hastert down with him.
The Gingrich, Abandoned
Poor Newt, you have to feel sorry for him.
His aides all left him, twisting in the wind.
They explained it was plain —
They had “a different vision of the campaign.”
Unlike Newt, I guess they really wanted to win …
