Year: 2010

L.A.’s Lights Sustain Smog

Buck Banks

7%

Amount by which the lights of Los Angeles slow the usual nighttime cleansing of air pollution, according to preliminary findings by scientists from the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and the University of Colorado. The lights destroy significant numbers of airborne nitrate ions, which break down auto and smokestack emissions while the sun is down.

Juan’s Ton o’ Merdre

Buck Banks

Juan Williams is a sly Fox News analyst
Whose truthfulness makes him a fine panelist.
But when he said she has charisma,
Though her brain power’s dismal,
He must have known Sarah Palin would get pissed.

Now, Juan knows the career of a pundit
Is brief, and even more to his credit,
We don’t hear him wailin’
“I’ve pissed off Ma Palin!”
But he did mutter, “This is one ton of sh*t.”

Although Juan has come pretty far,
He knows it don’t pay to dis right-wing stars.
He’ll be singin’ the blues
As he exits Fox News,
But where to? He can’t go back to NPR!

Verbatim

Buck Banks

This is such a weak field. It’s too weak, even, to exploit Obama’s considerable flaws …The only potential candidate who could match Obama in charisma is Sarah Palin and she can’t stand on the intellectual stage with Obama.

— Fox News analyst Juan Williams, giving a fair and balanced assessment of Palin’s mental stature.

Verbatim

Buck Banks

My prediction: The next sixth months will be more like the lame-duck, where there was a lot of productivity, than like the previous two years, when there was a lot of dart-throwing.

— Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY), telling MSNBC that he expects the next six months to be an unusually productive time in Congress.

Think It’s Bad in Your State? Visit Florida.

Trish
Wenches
Pretending you're a pirate (or a wench) is a trend that's really not working for Florida baby boomers

When you live in Florida, sometimes there’s just too much wacky to take in at one sitting. You have to just skim the surface because trying to go deeper would probably sink you.

Such is the case today, when a reading of the morning news brings so many little harbingers of doom. Read on for three examples.

  • Look out innocent sea life! You’re what we call, “collateral damage.”

    Boaters straying into restricted areas at Port Canaveral can soon expect to get a warning blast from the U.S. Coast Guard. The port is a test site for a new warning system to keep vessels out of security zones.

    Officials would first try to radio an encroaching boat and give other signals to stop. If that doesn’t work, 12-gauge shotgun ammunition can be fired into the path of a boat. The plastic and aluminum projectile ignites after about 100 yards to create a burst of light and a loud sound.

But wait, there’s more.

[…]

Verbatim

Buck Banks

Furthermore — and the real reason why I won’t be watching it — is that it’s been almost three years, and I’ve put it behind me. Watching it will only stir up bad memories and I don’t see the purpose in making myself upset over something I’m trying to overcome.

— Ashley Dupre, writing in the New York Post, on why she won’t see the documentary, Client 9, about her former client, Eliot Spitzer.