Month: September 2008

Holy Crap! Three-Ply Toilet Paper!

Buck Banks

Trish won’t let me create any new categories, but if she did, I’d make one for Water Closet Innovations. The latest was reported Tuesday by that venerable institution (so you know it’s important stuff), the Associated Press:
dollar-toilet-paper.jpg

If two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. At least that’s what toilet-paper researchers in northeastern Wisconsin hope.

Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific’s Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.

The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as ”ultra-soft” and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a ”sanctuary for quality time.”

If you go to the Quilted Northern Web site, you can actually interact with a roll of the stuff. There, you’ll find that it has a “thickness you can see and feel,” that it’s “soft and absorbent,” that it provides a “luxurious experience” and that it’s 100 percent biodegradable — because it’s made out of paper.

I’d try the stuff, but it has little hearts and flowery quilts all over it, and I prefer a manly, cheap one-ply. And, while I too would like a “luxurious experience,” my idea of a luxurious experience does not involve poo.

What You Don’t Know About Sarah Palin Can Kill You …If She Doesn’t Get to You First

Trish

We love to pass along funny web sites and even though we don’t find the subject of Sarah Palin that damn funny, we like this site. Yes, it’s mostly selling merch. But still.

Sarah Palin Facts is a collection of little-known “facts” about the wonder woman. Some of our favorites:

  • Sarah Palin wears three quarter length sleeves to keep from getting blood on her clothes when she kills liberals.
  • The diamonds in Sarah Palin’s earrings were crushed with her very hands.
  • Sarah Palin had the original idea to drop the “e” from Flickr
  • Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin
  • Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
  • Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in a charter jet — she ran as part of her morning workout.
  • To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in “Election,” Witherspoon spent the ‘98 seal clubbing season with Palin.

There are lots more, and you are invited to submit your own. Um…Fear of Sarah Palin is why hurricanes don’t hit Alaska?

The Maverick Flip-Flops on AIG Bailout. Looks to Bush and Says, “Whatever He Said”

Trish

What will John McCain do without the Bush administration? After all, to any question on current events, McCain casts his gaze in the direction of Bush and answers, “Whatever he said.”

The AIG bail-out is a perfect example. McCain, on the Today Show Monday:

McCain might have an actual opinion. And just as soon as Bush tells him what it is, we’ll let you know.

McCain: “…No, I do not believe that the American taxpayer should be on the hook for AIG and I’m glad that the Secretary Paulson has apparently taken the same line.”

Q: “So, if we get to the point, in the middle of the week when AIG might have to file for bankruptcy, they’re on their own.”

McCain: “Well, they’re on their own. We cannot have the taxpayers bail out AIG or anybody else, this is something that we’re going to have to work through.”

But then the Bush administration acted, which meant McCain flip-flopped, uh, changed his mind, or um, rather, clarified his position. McCain, on Good Morning America today:

“Now on the bailout itself, I didn’t want to do that. And I don’t think anybody I know wanted to do that. But there are literally millions of people whose retirement, whose investment, whose insurance were at risk here. They were going to have their lives destroyed because of the greed and excess and corruption.”

Somewhere between “They’re on their own” and, “My God, we’ve got to do something!” McCain might have an actual opinion. And just as soon as Bush tells him what it is, we’ll let you know.

Poll: Palin’s Favorable Rating Slips 10 Points in 3 Days

Jon Ponder

More evidence of a slide, cited by Newsweek:
Over the course of a single weekend, Palin went from being the most popular White House hopeful to the least.

Since Sept. 13, Palin’s unfavorables have climbed from 30 percent to 36 percent. Meanwhile, her favorables have slipped from 52 percent to 48 percent. That’s a three-day net swing of -10 points, and it leaves her in the Sept. 15 Diageo/Hotline tracking poll tied for the smallest favorability split (+12) of any of the Final Four. Over the course of a single weekend, in other words, Palin went from being the most popular White House hopeful to the least.

What happened? I’d argue that Palin’s considerable novelty is starting to wear off. In part it’s the result of a steady stream of unhelpful stories: her unfamiliarity with the Bush Doctrine during last Thursday’s interview with Charles Gibson … her refusal to cooperate with the Troopergate investigation; her repeated stretching of the truth on everything from earmarks to the Bridge to Nowhere to the amount of energy her state produces. That stuff has a way of inspiring disapproval and eroding one’s support. (Interestingly, Palin’s preparedness numbers–about 50 percent yes, 45 percent no–haven’t budged.)

Caveats apply, of course. This is one data set, not yet a trend, but it could be a glimpse into future direction, especially if McCain and Palin continue to shred the credibility of their ticket by persistently lying about themselves, each other and their opponents.

There is a precedent for a precipitous slide, however. In 1984, the only other time a woman was named to a major party ticket, Democrats Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro received a nine-point bounce after their convention, but Ronald Reagan, the incumbent, went on to win in a 49-state landslide, receiving 58.8 percent to Mondale-Ferraro’s 40.6 percent in the national popular vote.

Admittedly, any comparison between Republicans McCain-Palin and Democrats Mondale-Ferraro is superficial and, yes, sexist, especially because it is unclear, particularly from this poll, what role, if any, gender may be playing in Palin’s nosedive.

In 1984, Ferraro was undermined by questions about her husband’s business dealings, and her ticket’s opponent, Reagan, was still popular, in part because the economy had weathered the recession in 1982, and his administration’s illegal deals with terrorists in the Iran-Contra affair did not occur until the following year, and weren’t revealed until 1986.

The problems facing McCain and Palin today are primarily of their own making. Both have been caught lying on issues big and small. And there are serious questions even from conservatives about the readiness of Palin — the short-term governor of Alaska, the 47th largest state; a former beauty pageant Miss Congeniality winner; and sportscaster — to become president, if McCain, who is 72 years old, were unable to fulfill his term.

Ht: “Countdown”

John McCain Helped Create the BlackBerry Phone

Buck Banks

The Associated Press is reporting that a McCain adviser said that the candidate was instrumental in the creation of the BlackBerry portable phone/Web browser:

At least that’s the contention of a top McCain policy adviser, Douglas Holtz-Eakin. Waving his BlackBerry personal digital assistant and citing McCain’s work as a senator, he told reporters Tuesday, “You’re looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.”

McCain has acknowledged that he doesn’t know how to use a computer and can’t send e-mail, one of the BlackBerry’s prime functions.

Holtz-Eakin’s argument is similar to one advanced by [Al] Gore, the Democratic presidential nominee in 2000. Gore once boasted about “taking the initiative to create the Internet” through technological and educational policies. He later was mocked for claiming to have invented the Internet, although he never made such a claim.

Holtz-Eakin, former director of the Congressional Budget Office, said McCain’s service on and leadership of the Senate Commerce Committee put him at the intersection of a number of economic interests, including the telecommunications industry.

But another McCain adviser put Holtz-Eakin’s remarks into the proper context:

“He [McCain] would not claim to be the inventor of anything, much less the BlackBerry. This was obviously a boneheaded joke by a staffer,” adviser Matt McDonald said.

DVD Drop Designed to Spread Fear and Loathing, But Mainly Fear

Buck Banks

obsession.jpg
When I opened my Sunday Miami Herald two days ago, not just Sports Authority and CVS Pharmacy fliers fell out. An 8.5-by-10-inch piece of paper with a DVD affixed to it clunked to the floor. It was “Obsession: Radical Islam’s War Against the West,” a one-hour trailer for a two-hour “documentary.” It’s designed to scare the bejesus out of you and make you decide that John McCain is the only candidate that can save us from waves of Muslim terrorists.

The DVD sports a scary-looking jihadist and an image of the ruins of the World Trade Center with an American flag in the foreground. Of course the timing of the distribution — just a couple of days after the seventh anniversary of the September 11 attacks — was surely not accidental. But it makes it clear that this movie is not about the GOOD Muslims, it’s about the scary radical Islamists who hate you and want to kill you and your entire family.

Twenty-eight million copies of the DVD, which was first released in 2006 during the midterm elections, was distributed through 70 newspapers in battleground states over the past weekend, including Florida, Michigan, North Carolina, New Hampshire, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Colorado, Nevada, Virginia and Ohio. The highest concentration was in Florida, where no less than 14 newspapers presented subscribers with the thing. And it was only distributed to subscribers because … people who subscribe to the newspaper are residents and therefore are likely voters, whereas people who buy newsstand copies of the Sunday paper just want the comics, right? It also was included in the Wall Street Journal, the World Jewish Digest and the Chronicle of Higher Education.

It is produced and distributed by the Clarion Fund, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization that spends a lot of time telling anybody who will listen that it takes no money from the gubmint or special interest groups. It’s a shadowy group that does not list its principals or indeed any information about where its funding comes from.

The DVD is a very slick production, and if you were able to sit through the entire hour, it would no doubt indoctrinate you with the fear and loathing of Muslims that its creators intended. Boosting its credibility are interviews with such luminaries as Alan Dershowitz, who I would imagine had no idea how his interview would be used.

This is propaganda in its most blatant form, and it’s specifically designed to make you terrified of another terrorist attack by maniacal Muslims. It exploits the documentary genre perfectly, blending “facts” delivered in a dead-pan manner with creepy music and outrageous logic to create an atmosphere of lunatic fear. It is so psychologically effective, it’s scary, which is, I suppose, the point. Note that FOX News ran the thing in its entirety in 2006. ‘Nuff said.

If you want to watch it, go here.

The Tide is Turning. Can Palin Survive?

Trish

Conservative columnist David Brooks is against Sarah Palin. Who can be for her?

Brooks picks up on themes surprisingly similar to those expressed recently by New Age leader Deepak Chopra. Chopra noted that Palin’s small-town values and ignorance of world affairs are a rejection of the global realities of this century. Brooks agrees that pride in ignorance is not necessarily a virtue.

The current owner of McCain’s soul shows no sign of letting him out of the deal

…in America, there has always been a separate, populist, strain. For those in this school, book knowledge is suspect but practical knowledge is respected. The city is corrupting and the universities are kindergartens for overeducated fools.

The elitists favor sophistication, but the common-sense folk favor simplicity. The elitists favor deliberation, but the populists favor instinct.

Look at the condescension and snobbery oozing from elite quarters, her backers say. Look at the endless string of vicious, one-sided attacks in the news media. This is what elites produce. This is why regular people need to take control….

And then Brooks says something I never thought possible.

[…]

Now McCain Is Lying about the Meaning of the Statement, ‘the Fundamentals of Our Economy Are Strong’

Jon Ponder

Phil Gramm (left), McCain’s treasury-secretary-in-waiting, the man who ramrodded the deregulation into law in the 1990s that is at the root of today’s economic meltdown, blamed the crisis on Americans, whom he called a “nation of whiners”

At a certain point, politicians who lie persistently will lose their credibility with voters. What’s tragic in the United States these days is that — unless the lie is about sex — politicians can prevaricate, dissemble and tell blatant falsehoods for years without suffering blowback. The American people didn’t wise up to George Bush, a lifelong, sociopathic liar, for example, until after he’d been reelected.
McCain has used the Bushism, “the fundamentals of the economy are strong,” no less than 16 times since the beginning of the year.
The odds are against it, but let’s hope it takes less than five weeks, not five years, for the public to wise up about John McCain.

Yesterday, within hours after dismissing the meltdown on Wall Street by saying the fundamentals of the economy were strong, McCain lied about the meaning of what he’d meant by “fundamentals.”

Here is his original statement about the meltdown, which is a regurg of Bush’s standard talking point on the economy:

“Our economy, I believe, still, the fundamentals of our economy are strong, but these are very, very difficult times, so I promise you: We will never put America in this position again. We will clean up Wall Street,” McCain said.

He added: “The McCain-Palin administration will replace an outdated, patchwork quilt of regulatory oversight and bring transparency and accountability to Wall Street. We will have transparency and accountability and we will reform the regulatory bodies of government.”

Note that there is not a word or phrase in his statement that refers even indirectly to American workers. Nonetheless, after a barrage of criticism, McCain came out a few hours later with a totally fabricated formulation in which he implied that he was referring to workers when he said the fundamentals of the economy were strong:

[…]

Palin Admitted Smoking Pot

Jon Ponder

Not only was Sarah Palin, the darling of “values voters,” the mayor of the meth capitol of Alaska, during the 2006 governor’s race, she admitted that she has smoked pot:

Palin doesn’t support legalizing marijuana, worrying about the message it would send to her four kids. But when it comes to cracking down on drugs, she says methamphetamines are the greater threat and should have a higher priority.

Palin said she has smoked marijuana — remember, it was legal under state law, she said, even if illegal under U.S. law — but says she didn’t like it and doesn’t smoke it now.

“I can’t claim a Bill Clinton and say that I never inhaled.”

Clinton claimed he ate marijuana brownies in college.