Year: 2007

Bush Bumbles Across the Free World — Confuses Australia with Austria, Pisses off South Korea, Nearly Falls Off Stage

Trish

Now we know why it’s best for Bush to stay home and clear brush. Not long after answering Australia’s Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile’s question about progress in Iraq, “We’re kicking ass,” Bush went on to really offend.

Bush strode away from the lectern on a path that would have sent him over a steep drop. Howard and others redirected the president to center stage

“Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit,” Bush said to Australian Prime Minister John Howard.

Oops. That would be APEC, the annual meeting of leaders from 21 Pacific Rim nations, not OPEC, the cartel of 12 major oil producers.

Bush quickly corrected himself. “APEC summit,” he said forcefully, joking that Howard had invited him to the OPEC summit next year (for the record, an impossibility, since neither Australia nor the U.S. are OPEC members).

…Talking about Howard’s visit to Iraq last year to thank his country’s soldiers serving there, Bush called them “Austrian troops.”

That one was fixed for him. Though tapes of the speech clearly show Bush saying “Austrian,” the official text released by the White House switched it to “Australian.”

Then, speech done, Bush confidently headed out the wrong way.

He strode away from the lectern on a path that would have sent him over a steep drop. Howard and others redirected the president to center stage, where there were steps leading down to the floor of the theater.

But wait, there’s more. Being addled in Australia was only a warm-up. If you really want to mess things up, piss off a country that is trying to help you fight one of the members of your axis of evil.

[…]

Quote du Jour

Buck Banks

Deeds of violence in our society are performed largely by those trying to establish their self-esteem, to defend their self-image and to demonstrate that they, too, are significant…. Violence arises not out of superfluity of power but out of powerlessness.

— Rollo May (1909-1994) Existential therapist, humanist

New Ads Blame GOP Senators for Continuing Bush’s War

Jon Ponder

The public, including most liberals, blame Congressional Democrat for not ending Bush’s war — despite the fact that majorities of Democrats in both the House and the Senate voted against the war several times earlier this year.

The Democrats’ efforts were quashed in the Senate, however, where a majority of Republican senators continued to rubberstamp the president’s desire for never-ending war in the Middle East.

Now Americans Against Escalation in Iraq (AAEI) have launched an ad campaign against key Bush-enablers, GOP Senators Mitch McConnell, Norm Coleman, Susan Collins and Pete Domenici, targeting them, according to an AAEI news release, for “their continued support of the President’s endless Iraq war policy, which leaves our troops in the crosshairs of another country’s religious civil war.”

Titled “Fatigues,” the ad shows children going through mock basic training. It will air in each of the four senators’ states by the Campaign to Defend America, which is part of AAEI.

Fred Thompson: The New Katherine Harris

Trish
Fred reaches for his campaign manager’s um, arm.

We’re only one day in, but it already looks like having Fred Thompson in the 2008 campaign is going to be fun!

In fact, Fred’s candidacy could be almost as entertaining as Katherine Harris’ 2006 run for the Florida senate. Katherine, you might recall, buzzed through staffers like so much termite-infested cord wood. In one historic day alone, four senior staff members walked out. By the end of her campaign, scores had either quit or been fired.

But Fred is already looking good for meeting or beating Katherine’s record.

Mark Corallo, a veteran of the Bush administration who had served as Thompson’s primary spokesman when the Tennessee Republican began exploring a bid earlier this year, has left the campaign, Corallo and several Thompson aides told CNN…

He is the fourth communications staffer to leave the Thompson campaign. The former Tennessee senator also replaced his campaign manager weeks before officially announcing Wednesday that he would run for the White House.

In Harris’ case, extreme bugginess was the likely cause of the turnover. Between claiming live footage from the 2000 presidential theft was doctored to make her appear more heavily made-up, or that only born-again Christians are fit to hold public office, or raiding her campaign funds for home renovations, it’s no wonder her first ex-campaign manager programmed his cell phone to play the theme from the Exorcist when Katherine called.

With Thompson, the rumored source of the turmoil is just as hard-wired into the campaign.

…Republicans are still trying to determine who is really calling the shots and how much power is held by Mrs. Thompson.

“It’s now become an open joke among people in the consultant community and political movers and shakers that the senator’s wife is really running the campaign,” said Tony Fabrizio, a Republican pollster and strategist. “The spouse needs to be an integral part of the campaign but it is never a good thing when the spouse runs the campaign because the spouse is never objective.”

Thompson himself jokes about Jeri being in charge.

Speaking at his $1,000-a-ticket fund-raiser at the J.W. Marriott hotel in downtown Washington Monday night, Fred Thompson began by introducing “my campaign manager — oh, I mean my wife.”

If Thompson starts claiming Democratic office-holders secretly support him over their party’s eventual candidate, it’ll feel just like Harris is back. Fun!

Quote du Jour

Buck Banks

To call women the weaker sex is a libel: it is man’s injustice to women. If by strength is meant brute strength, then indeed is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man’s superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man would not be. If non-violence is the law of our being, the future is with women.

— Mahatma Gandhi (1869-assassinated 1948), Hindu national leader

Former Loyal Bushie Bremmer Accuses Bush of Lying About Disbanding Iraqi Army

Jon Ponder

Pres. Bush has been accused of lying by a former loyal Bushie — Paul Bremmer, Bush’s viceroy in Iraq at the beginning of the U.S. occupation in 2003. The issue in dispute is who made the disastrous decision to disband the Iraqi Army after the American invasion. In “Dead Certain,” the new book on the Bush presidency by Robert Draper, Bush denies responsibility and blames Bremmer for disbanding the Iraqi military:

It will be interesting to see what Cheney has in store for Paul Bremmer, and whether a former loyal Bushie will get the same rough treatment as others who call this president out on his lies.

“The policy was to keep the army intact; didn’t happen,” Bush told biographer Robert Draper in excerpts published in Sunday’s New York Times.

Draper pressed Bush to explain why, if he wanted to maintain the army, his chief administrator for Iraq, L. Paul Bremer III, issued an order in May 2003 disbanding the 400,000-strong army without pay.

“Yeah, I can’t remember; I’m sure I said, ‘This is the policy, what happened?’ ” Bush said, adding: “Again, Hadley’s got notes on all this stuff” — a reference to national security advisor Stephen J. Hadley.

Hadley may have notes but so does Bremmer. He has denied the president’s accusation in a column in the New York Times:

[…]

Who Knew Wingnut Richard Viguerie Had a Sense of Humor?

Buck Banks

Richard Viguerie, he for whom all real conservative politics died with Barry Goldwater, is a favorite punching bag of mine. He tends to send out topical blurts that mainly serve to make him seem completely out of step with most Americans and with only a tenuous grasp on reality. But today he really surprised me by issuing a satirical press release that, while not a knee-slapper, is rather clever and much more fun to read than his usual screed:

Producers wanted to sign Thompson for the series because he was seen as a ‘natural,’ having already impersonated a conservative U.S. Senator for eight years.

Fred Thompson Under Contract to Play “The Conservative”

(Washington, D.C.) Fred Thompson, well known for his role as the District Attorney in NBC’s wildly successful “Law and Order” series, has been signed by Faux Productions to star in its new political soap opera, “The Conservative.”

The prime-time soap will appear on the Political Network.

The series’ debut is expected any day, after summer production mishaps that saw the replacement of many top staff executives. Financing for the show also proved harder to obtain than originally expected. But Faux Productions President Howard Baker maintains a steady optimism about the new soap’s prospects for success.

“We have done massive research into what the American public wants in a politician today,” says Baker, “and we’re going to give them everything they want.”

“They want a strong national-defense conservative, so we’re giving them a strong national-defense conservative.”

“The public wants a fiscal conservative, so we’re giving them a fiscal conservative.”

“And most of all, they want a social conservative, so we’re giving them a social conservative.”

One Faux executive confided to The Washington Insider that the producers wanted to sign Thompson for the series because he was seen as a “natural,” having already impersonated a conservative U.S. Senator for eight years. It is not yet known whether the new production will bring back the old stage props, such as Fred’s red pickup truck. That may be fine for Tennessee, the executive said, but too unsophisticated for a national show. Rumors are also rampant that Jeri Thompson, who plays the leading distaff role as The Conservative’s child bride, doesn’t like pickup trucks.
[…]

Richardson: God Picked the Primary Dates

Trish

God reveals the primary dates to Moses

The primary situation is getting downright comical, even as Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) pledges to veto any bill that would un-do the recent move to a Feb. 5 election.

That declaration comes after my previous pick, John Edwards, insulted my home state.

Comment from God: “I’ve decided to call Bill Richardson home. And maybe that short ugly guy from Ohio too.”

“This election, more than any other, is about real change and choosing the candidate who is going to fight for that change,” Edwards said in a statement released by his campaign Saturday. “Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina need to be first because in these states ideas count, not just money.”

All righty then. I’ve already written the Edwards campaign to ask for my tainted Florida money back.

But the topper has got to be Gov. Bill Richardson (D-N.M.) Richardson’s claim that God Himself chose the primary dates is explored in a hilarious post on the Tampa Tribune’s blog, the Buzz.

God Likes Democratic Boycott of Florida

Well, He didn’t tell us that directly. But Bill Richardson says there’s divine support for Iowa’s status in the nominating process:

“Iowa, for good reason, for constitutional reasons, for reasons related to the Lord, should be the first caucus and primary,” Richardson, New Mexico’s governor, said at the Northwest Iowa Labor Council Picnic. “And I want you to know who was the first candidate to sign a pledge not to campaign anywhere if they got ahead of Iowa. It was Bill Richardson.”

Readers are having a field day making comments about Bill’s obviously caught up and overwrought oration.

[…]

Florida Democratic Party Update: Sit Tight, Trust Us

Buck Banks

I received this inane message from Florida Democratic Party Chair Karen Thurman this morning:

I hope everyone had a wonderful Labor Day Weekend. As you may have heard, on Friday and Saturday, the Democratic Presidential candidates signed a pledge to not campaign in any state, other than the four pre-authorized states (IA, NV, NH, SC), that holds its primary prior to Feb. 5, 2008. Of course, Florida’s state-run Presidential Preference Primary is scheduled for one week prior to that date. This came on the heels of a DNC Rules & Bylaws Committee meeting to penalize Florida Democrats with a 100 percent delegate reduction if our delegates are not selected on Feb. 5 or later.

This is obviously a difficult situation, but I want to assure you that your Party, Democratic Congressional Delegation, DNC members and other Democratic leaders are working hard to find a solution that is amenable to the DNC, the Chairs of the four pre-authorized states, the candidates and, most of all, Florida Democrats. We hope to be making an announcement in the coming weeks.

Until then, we strongly encourage you to keep your eyes on the prize and continue moving forward with laying the groundwork for victory in November 2008. Use that voter file, talk to your friends and neighbors, sign up to be a delegate to the state convention, and get involved. These intra-party discussions shouldn’t distract us from the real goal or let the Republicans get the upper hand. No matter which cards we’re dealt, we must deliver our state’s 27 electoral votes — and the Presidency — to the Democratic nominee. The country needs us.

Stay tuned for more information. Thank you for your hard work.

-KLT

Hear that sucking sound? It’s the Florida Democratic Party’s leadership vacuum.

Let the train wreck begin!