Day: November 19, 2007

Worst. Campaign. Commercial. Ever. Chuck Norris Shills for Mike Huckabee

Jon Ponder

Mike Huckabee may have unintentionally created a masterpiece in the art of campaign ads on television. His new ad, on the air in Iowa, is so bad it may just be the “Plan 9 from Outer Space” of campaign advertising.

It is so unspeakably bad that it should automatically disqualify him from high office. No one who seeks to be president (or in Huckabee’s case, vice president) of the United States can have such a tin ear about messaging.

Here’s how bad it is: Even George Bush, as haplessly dimwitted as he is, would never allow something this bad on the air.

Number of Gay Households Rises Dramatically in Rightwing Bastions

Jon Ponder

There are still millions of gay couples who don’t self-identify on census forms, but this is a good start:

In Fort Worth, Texas, the number of reported same-sex couples rose from 196 in 1990 to 2,254 in 2006, giving Fort Worth the 22nd highest concentration of gay couples in the United States.

The report by the Williams Institute for Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy at the UCLA School of Law found that the number of reported U.S. same-sex couples had quadrupled to nearly 780,000 nationwide between 1990 and 2006.

Using U.S. census numbers taken every decade as well as recently released data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey (ACS), it found that by far the fastest growth was in areas associated with conservative politics and values.

The number of self-identified same-sex couples has risen 600 percent in the red-state bastions of Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana.

The east south central states of Alabama, Kentucky, Mississippi and Tennessee saw a combined increase of over 800 percent while the mountain states of Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, New Mexico, Montana, Utah, Nevada and Idaho had an increase of almost 700 percent over that 16-year period.

In Fort Worth, Texas, the number of reported same-sex couples rose from 196 in 1990 to 2,254 in 2006, giving Fort Worth the 22nd highest concentration of gay couples in the United States.

Poll: Thompson Drops Below Ron Paul in New Hampshire

Jon Ponder

It appears that Yankees are impervious to Fred Thompson’s charms:

Former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson has skidded into sixth place in a new CNN/WMUR poll of likely Republican voters in New Hampshire, edged out by ex-Libertarian and anti-war congressman Ron Paul and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

Thompson “has trailed the GOP front-runners in early voting states since entering the race in August, and his support in New Hampshire dropped from 13 percent in a September poll to 4 percent in November’s survey.”

Ron Paul doubled his support from 4 percent to 8 percent since September. Mike Huckabee has 5 percent.

Mitt Romney, who as a former governor of Massachusetts is a hometown boy, relatively, is in the lead with 33 percent, which is up from 25 percent in September. John McCain’s 18 percent support is unchanged. Rudolph Giuliani is in third place with 16 percent, an eight percentage point drop since September.

Christian Parents Stressed Over Giving Media Gifts to Their Kids for Xmas

Buck Banks


“Should I give little Mary the latest Shakira CD and little Johnny the Resident Evil 4 game, and thereby offend the Lord God our Father in Heaven and condemn myself and my children to everlasting suffering in the lower depths of Hell?”

According to the latest Barna Group survey, Bible-banging parents across the land will be stressing like maniacs during the 2007 Xmas Shopping Season as they try to remain relevant to their children while at the same time adhering to their 2,000-year-old superstitions. Whether it was music CDs, movie DVDs, computer games, magazines or computer software, about one in three Christians was not comfortable with the contents of the media gift they gave their little angels. And almost three-quarters refused to buy mobile phone downloads from Satan for their children.

Sadly, this Christmas season will produce enormous stress for numerous Christian parents who don’t want to disappoint either God or their children.
— George Barna

Here’s what George Barna has to say about Christian Xmas Stress Syndrome (I just made that up — catchy, ain’t it):

The process of selecting appropriate Christmas presents for children is a microcosm of the spiritual tension millions of Christian adults wrestle with. Many Christian parents are striving to serve two conflicting masters: society and God. They refuse to believe that they cannot satisfy both. Sadly, this Christmas season will produce enormous stress for numerous Christian parents who don’t want to disappoint either God or their children, but whose ultimate choices will disappoint both God and themselves, while providing gifts that are not be in the best interests of their children. For Christians, the Christmas season should be a time of celebration and appreciation of the life of Jesus Christ. Instead, that joy is being minimized by the pressure and confusion introduced by our focus on material consumption and fulfillment.

Man, are there any more annoying and unforgiving masters than society and God?

The Xmas Shopping Season already is stressful enough without throwing eternal damnation into the mix, but what is a Christian parent to do if they don’t want to become irrelevant to their teenager?

Opt out. I mean, by most accounts, you’ve already missed Baby Jesus’ birthday, which was probably in October or November. And if Baby Jesus is the Reason for the Season, then it seems just bad manners to celebrate the Son of God’s birthday late. There’s your out, Christian parental unit: “Sorry, kids, we missed Baby Jesus’ birthday, so no Satanic media presents for you this year. Now, go in the backyard and flagellate yourselves with birch branches until I call you in for supper.”

There, no stressing about the content of the new R.Kelly CD or whether the kids will understand the themes of death and homosexuality in “Little Miss Sunshine.” No presents equals no stress equals parental irrelevancy but saves the souls of Mommy, Daddy and the kids. If all Christians who felt a little squeamish about giving their 14-year-old daughter a Cosmo subscription or little Timmy a transformer action figure (because after all, it’s a doll, and what message does it send?) opted out of the Xmas Shopping Season, a whole lotta souls would be saved, not to mention about $1 billion, according to Barna.

So go on, you’ve already missed Jesus’ birthday, no since in pissing off the Old man, too, by giving deviled presents.

This has been the first in an ongoing Pensito Review series called “War on Xmas.” Because we believe that there is no reason for the season except to redistribute wealth from the poorer to the richer, increase the rate of personal debt, raise the collective blood pressure of the nation and create a whole bunch of waste while expanding the carbon footprint of most households in America through purposeless over-consumption of natural resources and energy.

McCain Stuffs His Turkey of a Campaign with Iraq Thanksgiving Photo Op

Trish

John McCain is taking his presidential campaign to Iraq for Thanksgiving. The move can’t help but provoke memories of the 2003 visit from that other turkey, the one McCain has been apologizing and carrying water for since he ran against him in 2000.

Bush, if you recall, touched down at a makeshift military base at Baghdad International Airport for two-and-a-half hours, just long enough for photos and footage of him giving (but unfortunately not getting) the bird, and a quick recitation of his old chestnut about staying the course.

The visit lifted Bush’s ratings a little, and no doubt McCain is hoping for the same effect. He will be joined by fellow Bush champions Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) and Sen. Lindsey Graham, (R-S.C.).

This is McCain’s first visit to Iraq since his 4th of July trip earlier this year. Yes, the 4th of July. No doubt the timing was a complete coincidence that time too.

Another Word for “Free Rice”

Trish

Here’s a nifty little time-waster that actually isn’t (a waste of time). FreeRice.com donates grains of rice through the United Nations World Food Program to hungry people all over the world. But it only makes these donations if you play a multiple-choice vocabulary game first. The more words you get right, the more rice is donated. And the harder the words get.

Why, you might ask, don’t they just donate the rice without you playing the game? Because while you’re playing, ads are being displayed at the bottom of the page. Your clicks determine the rice donation. Check it out yourself. You’ll be helping the hungry and building your vocabulary at the same time.