Bush Really Asking for Do-Over?

Borowitz joked in his column today that Bush would beg for a do-over by firing Rumsfeld.

The White House just scheduled a 1 p.m. Eastern time news conference with a major announcement by Bush. Hmmmm. Wonder what it will be?

In the wee hours of the morning after American voters swept his party from power, President George W. Bush made an extraordinary appearance on national television to ask the national electorate for a “do-over.”

Millions of viewers were tuned into televised Election Night coverage when Mr. Bush, using the nation’s Emergency Broadcasting System, interrupted those telecasts to make a direct appeal to the American people…

Mr. Bush said that if the American people would grant him a do-over, he would gladly fire Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, referring to his longtime Cabinet member as “that loser.”

Deja Vu in Florida Again

Can you say, “irony?” I though you could. If you had to pick a district in Florida where voting was most under suspicion,” wouldn’t you pick U.S. House District 13, the seat most recently occupied by — wait for it — Katherine Harris?

Supervisor of Elections Kathy Dent couldn’t explain why 8,000 to 10,000 fewer people voted in the congressional race

Republican Vern Buchanan was clinging to a 368-vote edge over Democrat Christine Jennings for the 13th Congressional District early this morning…

The results were loaded with controversy as nearly 13 percent of all ballots cast in Sarasota didn’t include a choice for Congress. That difference, and scattered reports of difficulty finding the race on Sarasota’s touchscreen ballots, raised concerns about under-votes in the race.

Supervisor of Elections Kathy Dent couldn’t explain why 8,000 to 10,000 fewer people voted in the congressional race than in other high-profile races for governor, attorney general or U.S. Senate. But she said nothing mechanical went wrong with the county’s $4.7 million touchscreen voting machine system…

Throughout the day voters complained that touchscreen voting machines were not registering votes for Jennings properly.

Wait, it gets better.

Buchanan is an ultra-rich car dealer who defeated Tramm Hudson in the Republican primary. You would have thought Buchanan — despite pumping over $2.1 million of his own money into his campaign — would be at a disadvantage because of pesky fraud allegations in a sealed lawsuit. But Hudson was the guy who said blacks can’t swim. You decide.

Buchanan was also one of the few Republicans desperate enough to welcome heavy support from both Dufus Bush and his popular wife, the Lauratron 4000.

Until campaigning for Buchanan, Pres. Bush’s only other visit to Sarasota was on Sept. 11, 2001, when he read the book, “My Pet Goat,” with Sarasota school children, largely without moving his lips. They were just getting to the good part when the news came about the Twin Towers, which explains why another nine minutes went by before our hero returned to his presidential duties of being shuttled back and forth above flyover country.

But I digress.

We’ll keep you posted on how it all comes out, but something tells us Buchanan will maintain his amazing victory. After all, it’s District 13. Not that we’re superstitious, but we’d call Karl Rove in for one of those cleansing ceremonies with a priest before Buchanan unpacks in Harris’ old office.

Cable Newsers’ Coverage of Midterm Election Night Was a New Low

Keith Olbermann, the only professional newscaster on the set, successfully kept the coverage on track when he was on camera alone — and did his best not to wince when he was forced to engage in colloquies with Matthews, whose analysis grew increasingly off the wall as the evening progressed.

Flipping back and forth between the two legitimate cable news outlets, MSNBC and CNN, last night, I saw what I hope will be the low point in election night coverage on television.

The coverage on MSNBC was nothing less than a train wreck. The source of the problem was Chris Matthews, the disgruntled former Democrat who hosts the network’s Hardball program.

His co-anchor was Keith Olbermann, host of MSNBC’s Countdown, and the only professional newscaster on the set. Olbermann succeeded in keeping the coverage on track when he was on camera alone — and did his best not to wince when he was forced to engage in colloquies with Matthews, whose analysis grew increasingly off the wall as the evening progressed.

The lowest point in the evening started just prior to Matthews’ interview with Democratic Party chair Howard Dean in an exchange between Matthews and Joe Scarborough, a former Republican congressman from Florida, who hosts MSNBC’s Faux Fox News shout show, Scarborough Country.

The topic was Hillary Clinton — a subject that never fails to make Matthew spew spittle. But this time it was Scarborough who said, almost off-handedly, that Sen. Clinton, a conservative Democrat, represented the “far left” of the Democratic Party.

Matthews let the comment go as went immediately into his interview with Chairman Dean, but Dean, who was not in the studio and could not see a monitor so did not know Scarborough had made the statement, stopped the interview to say, “I don’t know who said [Clinton represented the “far left”] but whoever he is is not being objective.”

Matthews agreed, “No, he’s not.”

After the Dean interview, Scarborough took the floor and did what seemed like a five minute rebuttal. He went on at length about his own purported newfound fairness when looking at politics — how he has spent months trashing his own party and praising Democrats. To prove he point, he wrapped up — finally — by admitting that what he’d said about Sen. Clinton was inaccurate, that her voting record as been moderate and that she is a very fine senator. Matthews apologized to Scarborough for characterizing him as less than a down-the-middle newscaster, which just added to the absurdity and wasted more air.

That outburst, coupled with the fact that Matthews has had a half dozen instances over the past few months in which he can’t remember the names of the politicians he’s discussing — counterposed by the polished neutrality of Olbermann’s presentation last night — make it clear that MSNBC needs to replace Chris Matthews with a professional broadcaster to pair with Olbermann, who was criminally under-utilized last night.

My nomination would be Phil Donahue, who was fired by MSNBC one month before the U.S. invasion of Iraq because of his vocal opposition to the war.

Things were a bit better at CNN where there were more professional newscaster on the set, including emcee Wolf Blizter, commentator Jeff Greenfield and poll expert Bill Schneider. (Later, Anderson Cooper took over, who performed with his usual polish. There was also a segment with Larry King that literally put me to sleep.)

The panel of partisan experts on the set is getting very tired. I am biased, admittedly, but I do like Paul Begala and admire James Carville but the rightwing pundits, Bill Bennett and J.C. Watt, usually simply spout talking points faxed to them by Karl Rove’s office but apparently had not gotten their marching orders last night.

The worst idea of the evening, however, was CNN’s “blog party” at the restaurant Tryst in D.C. They invited big name bloggers from both the left and the right to Washington but then apparently did not have a plan for what to do them when the broadcast began.

As anyone who has tried it will tell you, live blogging at a party is practically useless and the coverage last night on the blogs of the folks who were at the CNN party generally suffered because they were distracted.

My recommendation is to ditch both the old partisan pundits and the blogger party idea and instead bring a handful of bloggers from both sides onto the set where they can cover the news on their sites, argue with each other and discuss their coverage with Blitzer, Greenfield, Schneider and the rest.

Webb Declares Victory in Virginia

Hope it sticks — if it does, Dems are one seat away from control of the U.S. Senate:

Sen. George Allen’s political career hung by a thread on Tuesday, as Democrat Jim Webb claimed victory — though fewer than 8,000 votes separated the two, and a recount was virtually certain.

“The votes are in and we won,” Webb said, though there were still votes to count. With 99 percent of precincts reporting, Webb had 1,170,564 votes, or 49.6 percent, to Allen’s 1,162,717, or 49.3 percent.

A final count, including all absentee ballots, was expected later Wednesday.

There are no automatic recounts in Virginia, but state law allows a candidate who finishes a half-percentage point or less behind to request a recount paid for by state and local governments.

With a margin greater than that but less than 1 percentage point, the trailing candidate can still seek a recount but has to pay the costs if the results are unchanged. Either way, a recount could not begin until after the State Board of Elections certifies the results Nov. 27; the losing candidate has 10 after that to request a recount.

California Roundup: Schwarzenegger and Feinstein Win in Landslides

Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger won reelection decisively yesterday, with 56 percent to Democrat Phil Angelides’ 39 percent. Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who was virtually unopposed, won decidedly, as well.

Democrats easily retained control of both houses of the state legislature but while it’s been a decade or more since any Republican was elected to down-ticket statewide office in California, Steve Poizner, a Silicon Valley multimillionaire, won election as insurance commissioner over Democrat Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante, 51 percent to 39 percent.

Democrats won other statewide offices:

  • Democrat John Garamendi beat ultra-rightwinger Tom McClintock for lieutenant governor, 50 percent to 45 percent
  • Democrat Jerry Brown, former governor and mayor of Oakland was elected attorney general, despite a barrage of stupidly nasty ads from GOP nutjob Chuck Poochigian, 57 percent to 38 percent
  • Democrat Bill Lockyer, who is currently attorney general, defeated Chuck Parris for state treasurer, 55 percent t0 37 percent
  • Democrat John Chiang defeated Tony Strickland in the race for state controller, 51 percent to 40 percent

As of 5:55 AM today, the winner in the race for secretary of state had not been called, but Democrat Debra Bowen was leading appointed incumbent Republican Bruce McPherson 49 percent to 45 percent.

Morning in America

Our long national nightmare may be coming to an end.

The Democrats have taken the House of Representatives, and the Senate is up for grab pending recounts in Virginia and Montana where the Democratic candidates both hold slight leads.

In the House, some sweet victories must be savored:

CA 11: GOP Rep. Richard Pombo, a rabid anti-environmentalist who the Republicans made chairman of the House Resources Committee — the proverbial fox in the henhouse, lost to a little known Democrat, Jerry McNerney.

AZ 05: Bombastic blowhard GOP Rep. J.D. Hayworth was trounced 52 percent-48 percent by Harry Mitchell.

OH 18: In Rep. Bob Ney’s district, Democrat Zach Space defeated Republican Joy Padgett, who once slimed former hostage Terry Anderson in a political campaign. Space won handily, 61 percent-39 percent.

AZ 08: As expected, Democrat Gabrielle Giffords took the seat being vacated by retiring openly gay GOP Rep. Jim Kolbe (who has been accused of being overly friendly with a former House page 10 years ago.)

NC 11: Conservative Democrat Heath Shuler defeated GOP Rep. Charlie Taylor. 53 percent-47 percent.

And there’s a tie:

NC 08: This is the district outside Charlotte where I went to high school. Republican Rep. Robin Hayes, heir to the Cannon Mills fortune, is in a recount with populist Democrat Larry Kissell.

And Montana Makes Six

The actual numbers from the Montana Senate race, as of 8 a.m. Eastern time are:

Democrat Tester: 168,121
Rebpublican Burns: 165,008

The Montana Secretary of State’s website doesn’t say what percent of votes that represents.

Meanwhile, Montana’s News Channel 8 shows more results.

…we’re still waiting for final numbers from Yellowstone and Gallatin counties.

The numbers are still trickling in, and Sen. Burns is now within a percentage point of Tester. Vote tallies have been delayed by equipment glitches, high turnout and a recount in Yellowstone County.

The newest numbers show that with 91% of state’s precincts reporting, Tester is leading Burns 174,045 to 172,392.

Yellowstone is the state’s biggest county and the recount is still in process.

And Virginia Makes Five

The actual numbers from the Virginia Senate race, as of 8 a.m. Eastern time are:

Democrat Webb: 1,170,686
Rebpublican Macaca: 1,162,327

That’s with 2,437 of 2,443 precincts, or 99.75%, reporting.

Webb gave his victory speech at 1 a.m. this morning, although some counties had gone home and will not finish counting until…any minute now. Allen has not conceded but he might as well.

And for those who are not tired to count, that makes five Senate seats won by Dems, which means unless the Repugs think of something underhanded quick, we will rule the House and the Senate.

Early Returns Put Allen Well Ahead

Too soon to be indicative but still a bummer. MSNBC has Virginia Sen. George Allen with over 50,000 votes and Jim Webb has over 30,000.

UPDATE from Trish: ABC is now reporting Allen with 50% and Webb with 49%! Meanwhile, Britney is still leaving K-Fed.

UPDATED UPDATE from Trish: Allen now has only 1,757 more votes than Webb, with 99.10% of the precincts reporting. Do they have run-offs in Virginia Senate races? I’m sure they have recounts. Meanwhile, Brit is still way over Kevin.

I Feel Ill

Charlie Crist is giving his victory speech, and so far he’s thanked his sisters, which he always does as a way to show himself embracing females on the stage; Jeb Bush, whom he called — and I’m not making this up — “the world’s” greatest governor (note to Crist’s handlers — explain international political systems to the newbie); and mother-frickin’ Pres. Bush, whom he called a brave leader. I can’t stand it.