Tag: Florida

South Florida Under Influence of Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet

Buck Banks

I don’t often read Dave Barry because I grew tired of booger jokes back in fifth grade, but sometimes the guy is worth reading. Today’s commentary is a case in point where Barry attributes all the weird stuff that gravitates to South Florida (O.J. Simpson, Elian Gonzalez, hanging chads, Virgin Mary cheese sandwich, Anna Nicole Smith, etc.) to a giant underground weirdness magnet that we must find and dig up to rid us of this constant flow of life’s rich pageant.

We need to find it, dig it up, and get rid of it.

I’m talking about the South Florida Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet. It’s buried around here somewhere. It has to be. How else can you explain why so many major freak-show news stories either happen, or end up, in South Florida?

O.J. Simpson, for example. Why is he here? Did anybody in South Florida ever say, ”Hey O.J.! Why don’t you pack up your golf clubs, your one glove and your remaining cutlery, and come be part of our community!”? Of course not! Nobody WANTED him here. He was DRAWN here, by the Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet.

Read the rest here.

Somebody Missed Snack Time: GOoPer Mica Throws Another Hissy Fit

Trish

The first time my representative, John Mica (R-Winter Park, Fla.), pitched a tantrum against the new Democratic leadership in Congress, everyone figured he hadn’t had his nappie.

The story made national headlines as an embarrassing illustration of how badly the new minority party was adapting to its more humble status. Mica, the former head of the transportation committee, threw a hissy fit when he discovered the comfy chair in which his large GOP ass was formerly housed was reassigned.

Mica: “Google it yourself. This is tomorrow, 8:17 Mecca time, Al Jazeera: ‘Democrats Attack Bush War Policy,’ and the lead quote is from Speaker Pelosi”

Mica arrived for the roundtable and discovered that he did not have one of the nice, cushy chairs at the head of the table that were occupied by Oberstar, Shuster and other speakers…

According to sources, none of whom wanted to be anywhere near this story, Mica threw a fit and demanded to know from staff why he didn’t have a special chair of his own next to Oberstar and the others.

But before staff could rectify the situation, and as startled members looked on, a furious Mica stormed out of the room and ordered the other Republican members to leave. Among the uncomfortable departees was Shuster’s own son and successor, Rep. Bill Shuster.

Everyone gave him that one, especially after his staff said it was all just a big ol’ misunderstanding. But his comments when he got to speak on the Iraq resolution show Johnny’s scorn for Democrats knows no bounds. Hey John, sneer much?

[…]

Fla. Gov. Says GOP Wasting $$ on Gay-Marriage Ban

Buck Banks

Duh: I suppose if I were a Republican, this story might mean more to me, but as far as I’m concerned, as long as the Florida GOP wants to piss its money away, who cares? Charlie Crist has turned out to be a pleasant surprise as governor of our state, especially following Jeb Bush’s lock-step Repug tribalism approach to running Florida’s political machine.

So Crist tells his party to stop spending money trying to pass legislation banning gay marriage in Florida (actually, it just defines marriage as between a man a woman, so it’s a positive, not a negative, piece of law — or so the GOP would have us believe).

The Florida GOP spent $300,000 touting the proposed state constitutional amendment narrowly defining marriage between a man and woman.

Under Crist’s predecessor, Jeb Bush, the Florida GOP spent $300,000 touting the proposed state constitutional amendment narrowly defining marriage between a man and woman. The GOP money was 54 percent of the total raised by the amendment’s backers, Florida4Marriage.org, which is still shy 28,000 voter-signed petitions to get the measure on the 2008 ballot.

Though Crist signed the petition and says he backs the measure, hardliners have expressed suspicion about his self-described “live-and-let-live-Republican” stance.

”I just think [the Republican Party’s] money can be better spent on other things that may be more pressing, like elections, for example,” Crist said. “I think that the people care about issues like insurance premiums. They care about property taxes. They care about public safety. And I think it’s important that not only those of us in government, but the party, focus on those issues, too.”

It’s interesting to see who is actually pushing the legislation. A clue can be gleaned from the identity of the guy who argued the case before the Florida Supreme Court:

Matthew Staver, an Orlando attorney who argued for the amendment before the Florida Supreme Court, said Crist’s statement was not a retreat from his pledge of support for the amendment. But he thinks Crist is wrong about whether the amendment is a priority.

”Charlie Crist has his priorities misplaced if he thinks it’s not money well spent,” said Staver, the law school dean of Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. “It’s one of the most important issues government can face. It deals with marriage and the family.’

Why, you may ask, is the dean of the law school of Liberty U. fighting the good fight before the state o’ Florida? Because Liberty University is Jerry Falwell’s institution of higher indoctrination and the source of much of the Christian evil spread throughout the land. I’m sure Staver is being farmed out to argue similar cases in states all across the country, and probably on Falwell’s dime. Hopefully, with similar results.

There were whispered suspicions about Charlie Crist’s alleged heterosexuality during the campaign, and I suppose some will make the argument that Crist is actually pursuing a double-top-secret agenda of supporting gay rights issues while “passing” as straight.

Anyway, I like Charlie for calling ’em like he sees ’em and doing and saying what he — not the Repug Party — thinks is right.

Deconstructing the Jeb for President Scenario

Trish

A new book from a Florida insider with no love for its subject warns of a Jeb presidential run as early as 2008.

In ”JEB: America’s Next Bush,” reporter Shirish Date advances a plausible-on-paper scenario for Florida’s 43rd governor to run for the nation’s highest elective office…

New book says Jeb is “not only a liar, but an accomplished one” and describes him as “a tall, mean guy with a giant head and twitching nose hairs.”

”Given his personality, given his sense of mission, given that his father and his clearly less-qualified brother have both accomplished this, it’s hard to imagine Jeb not running for president,” Date writes.

…Date reasons that, at 54, Jeb Bush is too young and ambitious to languish in commercial real-estate boardrooms and policy-wonk think tanks around Miami for long…

”For Jeb, the biggest factor that will push him into a presidential campaign will be his own boredom,” Date writes.

Now there’s a dangerous concept — a bored Jeb. Who knows what mayhem could result from that? I’m tempted to read the book just for the promised descriptions of my least favorite Florida governor ever.

…his narrative is also marked by ventures into more interpretive areas, such as calling Bush ”not only a liar, but an accomplished one” and describing him as ”a tall, mean guy with a giant head and twitching nose hairs.”

Date – pronounced DAH-tay – said in an interview he doesn’t dislike Bush. He just thinks winning outweighs fair play in the autocratic chief executive’s ”bred to rule” approach to government. Bush did not respond to an e-mail seeking comment.

Others say the ultimate irony is that Democrats taking the White House next year could be just the break Jeb needs to make a big ol’ comeback.

[One analyst] said ”Bush fatigue” will hurt the ex-governor in the foreseeable future. But if the Democrats win in 2008, the brand name could be quickly rehabilitated in 2012, she said, and a third Bush presidency would be plausible.

Chilling thought, but Date has another take.

Running for vice president doesn’t fit Bush’s top-dog style, Date said…

And besides, Date said, if Bush doesn’t run next year and the Republicans win, he’ll have to wait until 2016. He’ll be 63 then, young by presidential standards, but will have been out of office for 10 years – while the family’s big-donor list will have died off or found other GOP favorites.

Let us pray.

Florida Kills Paperless Voting

Jon Ponder

Interesting timing. One month after Jeb Bush leaves office as Florida governor, the state that gave his brother the presidency because of wiggy voting systems announces it is mandating a paper trail for all votes:

Fifteen of Florida’s 67 counties use paperless touch-screen voting machines. The remaining counties use optical scan machines where a voter marks a paper ballot with a pencil and it is electronically scanned.

Gov. Charlie Crist said Thursday he wants to spend about $32 million to convert all voting machines in Florida to produce paper trails.

”What we’re talking about here is Democracy and it is precious,” Crist told a crowd of several hundred people at a gathering of the nonpartisan Voters Coalition of Palm Beach County.

”You should, when you go vote, be able to have a record of it,” Crist said, calling it ”common sense.”

The proposal will be part of Crist’s budget he presents to the Legislature on Friday.

Fifteen of Florida’s 67 counties use paperless touch-screen voting machines. The remaining counties use optical scan machines where a voter marks a paper ballot with a pencil and it is electronically scanned.

Critics of the paperless machines say voters are disenfranchised because there is no record for a manual recount should questions arise about an election.

”We love our country, we love our Democracy, we cherish our freedom, but the bedrock of that freedom is the right to vote and the right to have our votes count,” said U.S. Rep. Robert Wexler, D-Boca Raton, who joined Crist for the announcement.

Crist said he hoped to have paper trails for all voting machines by the 2008 election.

Lots of speculation now that Florida’s move will lead to other states making the same decision.

’08 Election’s Over — McCain Has as Good as Won

Buck Banks

Mojito mojo: A year before the first primary, and South Florida’s legislative Cuban triumvirate has thrown it’s endorsement like a spoonful of vaca frita behind Arizona Sen. John McCain. State reps. and hermanos Lincoln “Not Abraham” Diaz-Balart and Mario “Not Super” Diaz-Balart joined U.S. Rep. Ileana “Kill Castro Now” Ros-Lehtinen in backing the increasingly testy Republican candidate.

Talk about placing yer bets early. I just hope some of my least favorite local representatives aren’t too disappointed when McCain flames out.

With Jeb Out of the Building, Secrets Out of the Closet

Trish

Jeb Bush kept a tight lid on the problems his policies created in Florida while he was in office. But Jeb’s gone now and that famous Florida sunshine is shining in the cracks once so snuggly covered.

Take privatization for example. Even a Republican state senator is appalled at the sweet deal Jeb’s prison contractors enjoyed.

After eight years of Jeb, more people are leaving Florida than moving in

Alarmed by millions of dollars in overpayments the state made to a private prison contractor, a state senator called for a criminal investigation Thursday.

[Sen. Victor] Crist asked the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to look at the contract between GEO Group of Boca Raton and the state Correctional Privatization Commission, which was disbanded in 2004 amid allegations of mismanagement and cronyism.

A 2005 state audit revealed that over an eight-year period GEO Group and Corrections Corporation of America, another private contractor, were overpaid $4.5-million.

The Correctional Privatization Commission also gave GEO $5-million in cost-of-living salary adjustments that, auditors said, were not fully passed on to employees.

At the Quincy facility, Corrections Corp., of Nashville, got $2.9-million more for facility maintenance than it spent.

The news is even worse about Jeb’s other flagships: the “A-Plus” and later, “A-Plus-Plus” education schemes. Starving public schools by diverting taxpayer funding into vouchers for private schools and penalizing budgets based on standardized tests, as well as doing away with affirmative action in public universities were all part of Jeb’s libertarian plan to undermine state-sponsored education.

And it’s all working, though not as Jeb planned. More people are leaving Florida than moving in.

In 2006, what the industry calls “outbound” moves actually surpassed “inbounds,” according to data from United, Atlas and Allied van lines. The industry had seen a steady increase in the number of customers heading out of the state in the past five years.

…The moving company statistics seem to indicate that those who are leaving are likely to be middle- and upper-middle class individuals who can afford moving vans, [University of Florida researcher Jim] Dewey said. They also could be families with children who are unhappy with the state’s funding for K-12 education, he said.

Department of Education statistics appear to support Dewey’s hunch. While state enrollment has grown an average of 51,000 students annually since 1989, regular enrollment in 2005 grew by only about 30,000 children.

The numbers were down again at the start of the 2006 school year, even in districts with normally climbing enrollment such as Orange, Manatee and Palm Beach.

In Pinellas, the decline in student enrollment was nearly twice what the district expected.

The former real estate developer governor’s policies toward growth, or should I say, “Let the party begin!” have also taken a toll.

…the spike in house prices in the last five years in Florida has made coming here less of a bargain.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise to me that there is a temporary slow down,” Dewey said. “Real estate here has gone way up.”

…Scott Brown, chief economist at Raymond James Financial in St. Petersburg, said it’s no exaggeration to say Florida is at a crisis point. “You’re always going to have the weather attracting people, and it’s still a very business friendly environment,” Brown said. “But it’s a difficult issue. It’s a very serious concern for Florida.”

And yet there are those who actually miss Jeb’s trademark sneer. Check back in another year or two and I bet even they will be glad he’s gone.

Florida’s New Jeb Trying to Befriend the Press

Trish

The man who pledged to voters to be as much like Jeb as possible without surgical alterations is making some changes. Gov. Crist-Crossin’ Charlie has changed his mind again, this time for the better.

Reporters’ comfort and happiness were rarely concerns of Bush, who notably locked reporters in his office in 2000

Crist also ended Bush’s tradition of meeting with the media at the bottom of a spiral staircase in the Capitol basement before the biweekly meetings of the Florida Cabinet. The meetings became mini-melees as a dozen or more TV and newspaper reporters crowded Bush. The image on TV stations around the state was similar to a “60 Minutes” encounter, complete with a sense of tension.

Crist has moved those meetings to an office where reporters can sit and the governor can appear more statesman-like with a new sign containing a picture of the Old Capitol behind his podium.

“A little change of venue,” Crist said Thursday. “I wanted to have this [room] open to visit with you, make sure you’re comfortable and you’re happy.”

Reporters’ comfort and happiness were rarely concerns of Bush, who notably locked reporters in his office in 2000 when they wouldn’t leave lawmakers who were staging a sit-in to discuss an issue with Bush.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Trish

Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) sent an otherwise party line newsletter to constituents this week extolling the boldness of Pres. Bush’s new strategy for Iraq. Yeah, whatever.

But this little tidbit was buried toward the end. Mel congratulated the “city” of Umatilla, Florida’s volunteer fire department for receipt of a nearly $35,000 grant from the Department of Homeland Security.

And they even have a weekly newspaper!

Umatilla calls itself “the gateway to Ocala National Forest” on its website. It’s home to the Florida Black Bear Festival, “a fun and educational event” held each October. Although it was once a citrus-growing area, today you will find, “shops, restaurants, a honey co-op, doctors & dentists, a pharmacy, banks, and a weekly newspaper. Our community also features active civic clubs, churches, a library, exemplary schools and ample recreational activities.”

Its Wikipedia listing said it had a population of 2,214 in 2000 but it grew to 2,502 by 2004.

Martinez issued a press release announcing the grant, which he evidently views as tax money well spent.

“The AFG grant is terrific news for this department in Umatilla. The continued financial support for the men and women who voluntarily serve their communities will aid in the life and property protection services that they provide,” said Martinez.

Florida District 13: Oooh-oh, That Smell!

Trish

Two things to take from this post: 1) Bush, et al campaigned way too hard for this loser to lose, and 2) Oh no, you did-int say the voters can’t see how the votes are recorded!

I didn’t think I would still be this appalled, all these weeks later, about the race in which Republican multimillionaire car dealer Vern Buchanan stole the U.S. House Florida District 13 seat. But with the Jetsonesquely named iVotronics’ manufacturer claiming that we, the voting public, have no right to know how (or if) their machines work, I’m outraged all over again.

Of all the races where there could have been problems with electronic voting machines, isn’t it funny that the one where the Bush Administration lobbied most heavily is the one that looks the most tampered with?

By now, everyone knows the story: Buchanan, according to his own internal polling, was behind Democrat Christine Jennings by three to six points going into the election. Jennings voters, upon exiting the booths, immediately reported difficulties with the touch-screen interface in that one race.

Not in dispute is how many voters were affected — about 18,000. The reason why 18,000 voters drove all the way down to the polling place, signed up for a ballot, cast a vote in every other race on that ballot, and then just stopped, is less clear.

Depending on who you listen to, 18,000 random folks lost interest and whiffed off just as they were about to choose between Buchanan and Jennings. Another theory holds that 18,000 people participated in a mass, extemporaneous protest of negative ads which somehow failed to stop them from voting in the governor’s race. That was the one where Republican Charlie Crist ran a month-long ad blitz with an empty chair portraying his opponent.

As we reported just before the election, Buchanan had some heavyweight support. Both Pres. and Mrs. Bush appeared on his behalf, with Laura making multiple visits. America’s mayor, Rudy himself, stumped for Buchanan, and the Vice President even left the secret bunker to make rare, daylight appearances. No doubt his garlic necklace kept him safe.

Yet, of all the races where there could have been problems with electronic voting machines, isn’t it a funny coincidence that the one where the Bush Administration lobbied most heavily is the one that looks the most tampered with?

And with ES&S, the machine’s maker, refusing to divulge how its machines work, things are getting fishier and fishier. Can you imagine the makers of optical scanning machines refusing to tell anyone how it scans ballots? Excuse me? When did Americans make a deal to be kept in the dark about the accuracy of vote counting? Was I out of the room?

It’s time for us all to wake up and smell the tuna — and this one’s been decomposing since Nov. 7.