A Tale of Two Lifestyles

As federal workers borrow from their kids, max out their credit cards, sign up as dog sitters, and even write paid online makeup reviews, federal elected officials are enjoying a very different lifestyle.

Don’t look into the eyes
Florida’s new senator, Rick Scott, is set to be feted tonight by the New Republican PAC at an event they’re calling the “Sunshine Ball” at the ritzy Andrew E. Mellon auditorium in the heart of D.C.

Donors/clients/customers/johns who attend at the “platinum level” will pay $100,000 but in return they’ll get ten tickets plus a photo opportunity, presumably with Voldemort himself.*

Not only that, but attendees will enjoy the rarefied atmosphere of the Mellon Auditorium. A D.C. venue review site describes the circa-1934 building’s, “dramatic roman doric columns, marble floors inlaid with gold, and spectacular auditorium standing more than 60 feet in height and embellished with limestone pilasters, gilded relief carvings, and polished oak where colossal luminaries, made of brass and burnished aluminum, are suspended from the ceiling.”

[…]

How Bad Ballot Design Likely Killed Bill Nelson’s Senate Career

If you’re still mad at Florida for denying Vice Pres. Al Gore the presidency in 2000, you’re probably not any happier with us for denying the Senate another Democrat, in the form of Bill Nelson.

There’s a tragically simple explanation for why the Senate vote went off the rails in the county where Fort Lauderdale is:

Bad ballot design. Like, spectacularly bad design.

In civilized counties like mine, here’s how the ballot looked:

[…]

FOX Favorite DeSantis Waits Mere Hours to Launch Racist Display

The news as it’s being reported out of the Florida primaries is that the Trump-backed candidate won the Republican race for governor and the Bernie Sanders-backed candidate won the Democratic one.

But the next morning, the real news is that Rep. Ron DeSantis (Rep – FL6) is a racist.

DeSantis called his opponent, Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum, who is African-American, “articulate” just before cautioning that Florida shouldn’t “monkey this up” by electing him governor. Watch the video, painful though it is, and note DeSantis emphasizing the word “monkey.” He practically winks as he pauses slightly to make sure you heard him.

Pundits, of course, rushed to “both sides” this thing. Politico reporter Marc Caputo tweeted: “The race for Florida governor is going to be about race.

Responses noted that the tweet should have read, “White candidate is making the race for Florida governor about race.”

Gillum’s victory over a moderate with a sense of inevitability is a signal that Florida’s progressives have had it with half measures. DeSantis’ win over a Republican who isn’t on the Trump train shows the same on the right-wing side.

Anyone paying attention is also over and done with the kind of reporting that attempts to paint Democrats with the same brush as Republicans. The news media has been part of the problem. Trying so hard to appear fair and balanced that it can’t even report accurately — which facilitated Trump’s rise — will no longer be overlooked.

Ron Desantis is Proud to Portray Himself as an Idiot to Show His Devotion to Trump

Don’t skip this ad just because you don’t live in Florida. But first, tie a bow around your chin so your jaw won’t get hurt when it drops to the ground.

Florida’s choices for governor are a Republican who is owned and operated by the NRA and Big Sugar (and whose agency stopped conducting background checks for concealed carry permits because it couldn’t remember its password), a Hillary Clinton-esque moderate Democrat who is almost guaranteed to lose because of the lack of enthusiasm she inspires among voters, and…this putz.

To paraphrase the old saying about Mexico, “Poor Florida — so far from God and so close to the United States.”

GOP Fl. Gov Rick Scott Asked What to Do to Prevent School Shootings – Answer: “Pray”

Time Magazine: “Scott who is strongly considering a Senate run to challenge Democratic incumbent Bill Nelson, is like Rubio, a favorite among the NRA, who noted in 2014 that he had signed ‘more pro-gun bills into law — in one term — than any other Governor in Florida history.’ Nelson and Scott have contrasting ratings from the NRA: Nelson has an F and Scott has an A+.”

Pack Your Heat When You Pack For Home

Original photo by Damir Bosnjak

A timely reminder from the part of Florida known as the “Redneck Riviera:” When traveling over the summer, remember to take your gun home with you.

Travelers often leave behind personal items when they check out of an Airbnb or other vacation rental, but police in Fort Walton Beach, Fla. have noticed a particular absentmindedness on the part of those who just can’t be without their guns. They remember to bring them to their relaxing getaway on the shores of the Gulf, but they forget to take them home.

…according to Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Corey Dobridnia…a total of 20 guns have been turned in since Memorial Day. Ninety percent came from vacation homes.

Since the guns are either reunited with owners through the diligent efforts of the property owners or used for police training, what’s the harm, you might ask? […]

The Hug That Wasn’t? Ivanka Turns to Stone Under Threat of Rubio’s Affection

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There’s a caption contest on Twitter for this photo of an eager Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) hugging Ivanka Trump without actually touching any of Ivanka’s parts. The contest was started by “AltEPA,” whose Twitter handle is @ActualEPAFacts, and who is worthy of your “following” consideration.

The shot makes you wonder just how tall “Little Marco,” as Ivanka’s dad calls him, is. A search came up with this article detailing the heights of the 2016 presidential candidates, along with heights of the past presidents. It offers this caveat at the beginning:

For the record, Rubio is listed at 5’10” in our chart but we have heard from well informed Florida sources that he is more like 5’8″.

Judging by the photo, we’re going to say those Florida sources are onto something. Ivanka, from what we could find, is 5’11” in her stocking feet, and Little Marco’s eyes are about level with her mouth.

Got a caption of your own for this shot? Leave it in the comments section. FYI, “Daddy does it too” was already used on the Twitter feed.

A Wall Wouldn’t Help

What I want is a secure border, whether it’s a wall or a fence, however you do it. I want to to know who’s coming into our country because I don’t want another Pulse attack.”

— Gov. Rick Scott (GOP/Tea-Fla.), commenting on how incoming Pres. Donald Trump should handle border security. Scott, whose state experienced the country’s deadliest mass shooting and hate crime at Pulse Nightclub, is apparently unaware that the shooter, 29-year-old Omar Mateen, was an American born in Hyde Park, N.Y.