Tag: Culture

Survey: Americans Alternately Lie, Tell the Truth

Buck Banks

Poll dancing: In his latest survey, Christian pollster George Barna actually uncovered information that helps explain recent findings by other pollsters that more Americans today believe that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction than believed it in 2003. Barna found out that Americans are liars and atheists make better activists.

Barna set out to see how Americans perceive themselves — always a tricky topic, if you ask me. Americans are notorious liars and generally want to appear to be better than we are. We want people to like us and we are willing to dissemble in order to cover up the fact that we are reprehensible boors.

Here are some of Barna’s findings:

Most adults hold a generally favorable impression of themselves. At least nine out of 10 said they are “a good citizen” (97 percent), “friendly” (94 percent) and “generous” (90 percent). At least eight out of 10 claimed to “feel at peace” (83 percent), to be “clear about the meaning and purpose of your life” (81 percent), and to be “making a positive difference in the world” (80 percent). Nearly seven out of 10 who have children in their home said they are “an effective parent” (69 percent).

See what I mean? I don’t have a problem with the first three attributes (well, maybe “generous”), but when more than 80 percent of respondents are at peace, clear about their life’s meaning and purpose, and claim to be making a positive difference in the world, we’ve moved into downtown Liarville. I don’t know what Barna meant by “effective parent,” but the 69 percent figure probably jibes with the percentage of the general population of parents whose children are not in jail.

Amazingly, more than eight out of 10 Americans (82 percent) believe that they ‘live a simple life.’

But when Barna started in with negative self-describing adjectives, any pretense of telling the truth went out the window.

Only 13 percent said they are “in serious debt” and only one out of every five (21 percent) are “feeling unfulfilled.” One out of three (34 percent) admitted to feeling stressed out – the highest level recorded for that descriptor in the past five years. And four out of every ten adults (40 percent) admitted to being overweight.

I don’t know how you define “serious debt,” but the Federal Reserve just issued a report that Americans owe $2.19 TRILLION in consumer debt, which doesn’t count mortgage debt. The unfulfilled 20 percent were the only ones who didn’t lie about being clear about the meaning and purpose of their life, and there is definitely some overlap between the 34 percent of stressed-out individuals and the lying 83 percent who claim to be at peace (about 17 percent, by my calculations, but probably more). And if only four in 10 Americans is overweight, I’ll eat your Big Mac.

Respondents’ flirtation with “truthiness” continues:
[…]

Men Have Set the World on Fire – Can Women Put It Out?

Pensito Editors

Women should never allow themselves to remain uneducated, and we should fight like rabid tigers to see that our daughters do not face the same fate. When the Taliban burns a girls’ school we should all rise up in outrage.

There is a problem in our global community — and it is women. I am not talking politics or women in politics, they are an unknown gender having become like their male cohorts: What they say today, they won’t repeat or recall tomorrow. Let’s just say that today’s politicians deal in illusions. It is done with smoke and mirrors. Polls, all askew and slanted, make their minds see-saw. Politicians have become the mythical shape shifters you read about in science fiction. Politics today deal in illusions. It is done with smoke and mirrors.

I am talking about personal power. Women have forgotten that we shape the world. Women are the hearth; women create the home, women nurture. History down through the ages has proven that if man is left to his own devices he will destroy himself. Enlightenment comes from women. Women must stand beside men and whisper wisdom into their ears. According to the ancient Kabbalah, women are the spiritual centers of marriages.

We birth the babies — we populate the world — we can and should shape the world. The world is on fire and women can help put it out. We can steer the men of the world to “Seek another way.” Women can shift the world back to reason and compassion. All women are responsible for shaping the world: “The hand that rocks the cradle shapes the world.” There are so many ways to nurture and support. Men are destroying themselves and our world. It is their nature to fight. Men must be shown another way for our survival on this planet. It is up to peace and it is up to women to change the world and restore order.

[…]

Cellphone Crutch Helps Cretins Converse On Culture

Buck Banks

Cellular crib notes: As I was reading Media Bistro over lunch, I came across an employment ad that looked interesting: “Pop Culture & Entertainment Writers in Anywhere, USA.” Following the link, I came to an ad placed by Moderati Inc., makers of Modtones mobile phone ringtones.

While I find “creative” ringtones only slightly less annoying than the people who pay for them, Modtones assured me that it could “Turn your phone into a house-rocking hit machine with Modtones. This ain’t yo momma’s ringtone!” “But I don’t need a rocking hit machine to make a phone call!” says my inner fogey.

The most popular Modtones songtones included “Ridin'” by Chamillionaire, “Unfaithful” by Rihanna, “Me and U” by Cassie and “London Bridge (Chorus)” by Fergie. Apparently people fork over $2.99 for one of these one-named wonders’ songs to distinguish their cellular phone from the next guy’s when it goes off in the middle of a movie. Or a funeral.

It’s a combination of tips & tools to help people fake their way through the competitive social scene using their cell phone

But back to the ad. Moderati is launching a mobile product that could prove to be even more obnoxious than their ringtones. The company is looking for copywriters for … I can’t explain it:

It’s a combination of tips & tools to help people fake their way through the competitive social scene using their cell phone. We’re seeking good, punchy writers who can contribute little scoops (about 2-3 sentences) on current goings-on in pop culture, entertainment, music and fashion.

To be considered, please send a couple sample blurbs on the topic of your choice in pop culture, and we’ll contact you with more information. Your blurb should explain the topic and give a distinct point of view, suitable for subscribers to use as conversation starters. Snarky smart-asses welcome!

OK, let me get this straight, so these are conversation starters for people who have Shakira’s “Thighs Don’t Lie” as their ringtone? To help them “fake” they have something to say, glancing at their phone cupped in their palm like they’re reading crib notes? If you need that kind of help, you belong on the bench watching the “competitive social scene.”

How hard can it be to have somehting to say about pop culture? Listen to AM radio. Watch “Entertainment Tonight.” Read “Tiger Beat” magazine or Fark.com. I mean, if one were trying to chat up a hot prospect about politics and culture, one could read Pensito Review, of course, but then readers of PR probably don’t have ringtones featuring “Miss New Booty (Edited)” by Bubba Sparxxx.

I wish Moderati luck with their product, especially with generating a need for it. But this seems to be just another senseless technological solution to a nonexistent problem aimed at the 14-24 demographic, a generation already overly dependent on electronics for, not even entertainment, but just stimluli. They have been so thoroughly overloaded by cartoons, music videos, video games, iPods and cellphones that, like some smack-addled junkie, they can’t create a cogent ice-breaker in the competitive social scene. So they look to their little electronic guru to help them “fake” having a brain, a personality and an opinion on whether Paris Hilton is really through with men and is now celibate, fer sure.

We are becoming a nation of pod people, separated by a couple of earbuds and a million miles. It’s no wonder we’ve forgotten how to start a conversation — we’re too busy not listening to each other.

Hillary Clinton Gets ‘Busted’

Buck Banks

Statuesque senator: From the “things best left unseen” file comes the story about New York’s Museum of Sex and its preparations to unveil the “presidential bust” of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton next month. Here’s an excerpt from the press release:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – New York, NY – July, 26 2006 A presidential bust of Hillary Clinton is set to be unveiled at the Museum of Sex on August 9, 2006 at 10 am. Accentuating her sexual power and bolstered by the presidential seal, The Presidential Bust of Hillary Rodham Clinton: The First Woman President of the United States of America will be officially open for public viewing on August 9 for a limited six week run.

Artist Daniel Edwards describes this new sculpture as capturing Clinton “with her head held high, a youthful spirit and a face matured by wisdom. Presented in a low cut gown, her cleavage is on display prominently portraying sexual power which some people still consider too threatening.”

Edwards’ inspiration for the piece was derived from actress Sharon Stone’s controversial quote earlier in the year about challenges that would most likely be encountered should the Junior Senator from New York run on the ’08 ticket. “I think Hillary Clinton is fantastic,” Stone said. “But I think it is too soon for her to run. This may sound odd but a woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. Hillary still has sexual power and I don’t think people will accept that. It’s too threatening.”

One has to wonder about “art” that is inspired by a quote from Sharon Stone ….

Why This Is My Last Post On Pensito Review

Buck Banks

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NOT! Even if I am a millionaire now, I’ll still contribute to Pensito Review. I just will do it for free.

With Christians Like These, Who Needs Satanists?

Trish

The demented vicious weirdos of Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka were a big no-show at the funeral of a Florida vet killed in Afghanistan, after authorities made it clear that they would be pleased to make an example of them.

If they are not being monitored like their fundamentalist brethren in better-known terrorist groups, there’s something really wrong with national security

Florida’s two-week old law, similar to a national one, bars protests at military funerals. It was enacted just for the sick puppies at Westboro and any other freaks of nature of who might get a similar idea to proclaim that God kills soldiers to exact revenge on gays. Because you know, God can’t just take the direct route and kill gays. Or something.

The Patriot Guard Riders, a group of mostly former veterans on motorcycles, did attend the service. The group formed to protect the families targeted by Westboro and its ilk and its captain, Clayton Murphy, correctly predicted the so-called church members would chicken out.

Murphy praised the new laws but said Westboro members probably won’t show. The group often sends announcements of protests that never happen, he said.

If the protesters come to town, Murphy suggests people ignore them.

“They feed off people who show up to counterprotest,” Murphy said. “When they break the law, let the local law enforcement officers in the area arrest them.”

I’m not exaggerating how bizarre these folks are. Among their teachings are that the idea that God loves everyone is “the greatest lie ever told,” and that God in fact hates America. If they are not being monitored like their fundamentalist brethren in better-known terrorist groups, there’s something really wrong with national security. Check them out yourself at godhatesfags.com, but be warned: you will want to take a hot shower after you visit their site.

Why Won’t These Black Kids Just Drink More?

Trish

A new study shows that African-American young people are under tremendous pressure from advertisers to drink, drink, drink. According to the Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (CAMY), during 2003 and 2004:

  • African-Americans aged 12 to 20 were consistently exposed to substantially more magazine advertising for distilled spirits and beer than were youth in general
  • African-Americans were exposed to from 17% to 21% more beer and ale magazine advertising, and 42% to 43% more distilled spirits magazine advertising per capita
  • African-Americans heard more radio alcohol advertising per capita than youth in general in nine of the 10 largest radio markets during the summer of 2003, and in six of the top 10 markets — New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas-Fort Worth, Houston-Galveston and Detroit — during the summer of 2004
  • Alcohol ads ran on all 15 of the most-watched television programs among African-American youth in 2004, with three brands — Bud Light, Heineken Beer and Miller Genuine Draft — contributing more than half of the nearly $4.8 million

Despite the concerted effort of alcohol producers to get their products into the hands of black youths, the American Advertising Federation (full disclosure: I am a member) says alcohol use is less in this demographic.

The Distilled Spirits Council of the United States has noted that a government survey on alcohol use found that in the same time period, African-Americans aged 12 to 20 used alcohol at a rate of 19.1 percent, compared to 26.6 percent of Hispanic youths and 32.6 percent of Caucasians.

The problem, says CAMY, is that the effects of using alcohol are worse among black kids.

There is substantial evidence that, although African-Americans may drink less than the general population, they suffer higher rates of alcohol-related problems. Alcohol is the drug most commonly used by African-American youth. While African-American youth consume less alcohol than their White and other ethnic minority peers, more than a third (37%) of African- American high school students are regular drinkers (i.e. at least once in the past 30 days). Alcohol use contributes to the three leading causes of death among African-American youth between ages 12 and 20: homicide, unintentional injury (including motor vehicle crashes) and suicide. In the African-American population in general, abstention rates are higher than in the general population, but so are prevalence of heavier drinking and levels of alcohol-related health consequences.

Gee, do you think it’s time to stop pushing 12-year-olds to pop open a cold one?

Six Dead, Four Wounded Under New Florida/NRA Law

Trish

Less than a year since it took effect, Florida’s new “Stand Your Ground/Kill at Will” law has been used to justify killing at least six men and wounding at least four others. The good news is one of them was actually armed.

The Orlando Sentinel examined the fallout from the NRA-backed statute, which allows anyone who says they feel threatened to shoot to kill. The paper researched court records from five of the law’s eight months on the books.

Ten other states have followed Florida’s lead and adopted this wrong-headed law, and five more are considering it. And that suits the National Rifle Association just fine

The law is all about fear, and acting based upon it. In fact, without clear evidence of some other emotion being involved, specifically “anger, frustration, or malice,” police can only investigate -— not detain or arrest — the trigger-happy. But don’t get the wrong idea, says one of the gunmen.

“You’re not talking about freaks and geeks slinging guns around like Dirty Harry…” said [Michael] Brady, 43, of Winter Haven, who in April killed a stranger who was threatening him with his fist. “I do believe in Americans having a right to protect themselves, but strapping [pistols] on their hips and going back to Western days — absolutely not.”

The Sentinel’s main finding was that there is a huge variation in the way the law is applied and cases are handled from county to county and from suspect to suspect.

In one case, for instance, an off-duty Maitland police officer was arrested after shooting and wounding his host and another guest at a Jan. 15 party near Casselberry.

Despite claiming he feared for his life, Daniel Metevier was jailed by the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office on two counts of aggravated battery with a firearm.

The charges were dropped two months later…Metevier provided his medical records to prove he underwent knee surgery shortly before the shooting. He claimed he was unable to defend himself, partly because of the injury, without resorting to deadly force…

“I wasn’t so inebriated I didn’t know my name. I was thinking logically,” Metevier said.

Goes without saying. […]

Brad and Angelina: World’s Stupidest Attractive Straight People Turn Up Their Nose at Marriage

Trish

So these two defective-in-every-
way-except-looks people would have Pres. 30% Approval and Sinking’s blessings but none of my gay friends are fit?

Let’s get this straight, so to speak. Pres. Sanctity is Only for Straight People won’t allow my cousin and his partner of more than 20 years or my friends Joe and Julio, who have been together almost 10 years, to marry. But he wants these two clueless idiots to be able to have at it.

They’re too stupid to so much as spell the word matrimony if you put them together in a room with a dictionary open to the page that starts with marshmallow and ends with matzo. Read this and see if I’m wrong:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt denied Wednesday that wedding bells are in the air, saying they want to concentrate for now on their newborn daughter and Jolie’s two adopted children.

“There is nothing in the air. The focus is the kids, and we are obviously extremely committed to the children and as parents together,” Jolie [said]. “So that kind of says it for us, and to have a ceremony on top of it is nothing.”

If only. If only a ceremony between you two could be ignored. So…Brad’s adopted the kids you adopted and changed their last names to Jolie-Pitt, plus now you’ve had another child together. But you don’t want to like, be committed or anything.

Pitt and Jolie sold rights to images of Shiloh Nouvel through Getty Images photo agency, saying proceeds would be donated to a charity, not yet named.

People magazine paid a reported US$4 million for the right to release the pictures in North America, while Hello! obtained British rights.

Quick, somebody hand me a loaded firearm.

Brad and Angelina began their affair while he was still married to Jennifer Anniston. If he and the Beautiful One wed, it will be his second marriage. But he is 42, after all.

She, of course, is only 30 and was previously married to Billy Bob Thorton, whose name is presumably still tatooed on her person, although the vial of his blood she used to wear around her neck is no doubt bobbing in the waves somewhere. She was also married to the less famous Jonny Lee Miller. With Brad having only two names and the fact that their marriage will be her third, I can see why he’d be a little hesitant. If he had a brain.

So these two defective-in-every-way-except-looks people would have Pres. 30% Approval and Sinking’s blessings but none of my gay friends are fit? If I weren’t already divorced, I might get one just to protest.

Klosterman: The Era of Predictable Disillusionment

Trish

Chuck Klosterman wrote a great piece for ESPN Magazine about why Barry Bonds matters. We’ll save his five reasons on that subject for another day, but his summation of the post-Clinton years is dead-on. The essay was excerpted in The Week magazine.

…the U.S. started acting like a rogue state, and The Simple Life premiered, and we re-elected the same president we never really elected in the first place

In November 2000, the United States held a presidential election, and nobody knew who won, so we just kind of made up an outcome and tried to act as if that was normal. Less than a year later, airplanes flew into office buildings, and everybody cried for two months. And then Enron went bankrupt, and the U.S. started acting like a rogue state, and The Simple Life premiered, and we re-elected the same president we never really elected in the first place. Later, there would be some especially devastating hurricanes and three Oscars for an especially bad movie called Crash…

If it’s the era of anything, it’s the Era of Predictable Disillusionment: a half-decade in which many long-standing fears about how America works (and what America has come to represent) were gradually — and then suddenly — hammered into the collective consciousness of just about everyone, including all the people who hadn’t been paying attention to begin with.

Right. Ignoring it won’t make it go away, nor does it provide exemption from being strapped in a seat on the Rove-conceived roller coaster of division and made-up strife we no longer even recognize as such.

Instead, we routinely take ardent stands on things previously of only passing interest to us, like stem cell research, gay people holding weddings, husbands unplugging wives from life support, and citizenship for Mexican workers. We debate absurd “solutions” to illusionary “problems” like putting a fence around the lower 48. Meanwhile, we either don’t notice or claim not to care when cameras are erected on every highway exit ramp and bridge, and better records of our cell phone calls are provided to the government than to us.

As Paris Hilton herself said, if caviar wasn’t expensive, no one would eat it. I’d rather think they’re putting something in the water than think we are just this easy to play.