Being president is stressful, so you need some relief.
But every four days? That’s excessive, good grief!
In the 223 days since the inauguration,
Trump has spent 56 of them in a greensome.
He seems less like a dictator and more like the Duffer-in-Chief.
American business and higher ed cross Donald Trump at their peril.
Crawl if they must — it’s capitulation or bust — or Trump goes feral.
But those are just soulless corporations,
Not beloved bastions of American traditions,
So, in this one case, thanks for bending the knee, Cracker Barrel.
To win the culture wars, right-wingers employ a tautology,
And they back that up with a kind of inverse psychology.
So they’re into film and book banning,
And art and rainbow crosswalk panning,
But stamping out my ideology doesn’t replace it with your ideology.
Florida’s fascists have achieved a new depth of lunacy:
They believe painted streets are liberal advocacy.
At the presser we expected DeSantis to say
Rainbow crosswalks are recruitment tools for gays,
As the Free State of Florida sinks ever closer to idiocy.
Maryland Governor Wes Moore can sure talk the talk,
But his invite to Donald Trump made the old man balk.
You’d think Moore had committed sacrilege
The way Trump threatened to defund his bridge,
But Moore just invited Trump to take a public safety walk.
Elon throttled Starlink because Ukranians were killing Russians,
But by throttling it, Elon enabled Russians to kill Ukranians.
So the world’s richest, weirdest guy,
Gets to decide who lives and who dies?
That’s too much power in the hands of a dude who wants to be a Martian.
