Trump swaggered into Davos like a doddering old lout,
Threatening NATO allies with his tired old tariff knout.
But even as Trump was bloviating,
The tariff threats began evaporating,
Because, as was easily predictable, Trump Always Chickens Out.
To get on the wrong side of the government, you had to be a bomb-throwing anarchist,
That was until Trump and his Cabinet conspired to be Constitutional denialists.
They’d rather rendition citizens on illegal flights
Than perpetuate the spirit of the Bill of Rights,
Now, if you stand chanting in a protest line holding a sign, you’re a “domestic terrorist.”
We’ve always known Donald Trump was crude, callous and crass,
His thin skin and narcissism make him susceptible to sass.
So when called “pedophile protector” by a heckler
He responded with a “fuck you” and the middle finger
Because the president of the United States is a childish, vulgar ass.
In this Age of Obesity, government dietary guidelines are warranted,
But it’s not always what you eat — it could be the genes you inherited.
They’re recommending more dairy and red meats,
Less processed foods, less sugar, fewer sweets,
So we can thank RFK Jr., Donald Trump and McDonald’s for our new food pyramid.
Donald Trump seems to take pride in his venal criminality,
Asserting that the only limit on his actions is his own morality.
But of course Trump has no morals,
So he obeys neither laws nor rules —
And the only real check on his behavior will be his own mortality.
Today Nicolas Maduro was arraigned in New York on charges of narco-terrorism,
He pleaded “not guilty” and claimed to be a “decent man,” not a villain.
But Maduro got bad legal advice:
His lawyer forgot Trump Inherent Vice™ —
He should have pleaded guilty and then bought a Trump Pardon™ for two million.
With Trump on the rampage, no nation is sovereign,
He’s bent on regime change, and Congress? Eh, fuck ’em.
Where next will Trump’s juggernaut go?
Look out, Cuba, Colombia and Mexico!
We’re going to pwn the Western Hemisphere under this new “Donroe Doctrine.”
At Christmas the Trumpers cosplayed being Christians,
Sharing messages at odds with their political missions.
While they tweet fake posts of love and peace,
And profess to hold phony Christian beliefs,
They’re all daily engaged in killing their fellow humans.
Politifact’s annual Lie of the Year stands out, impact-wise,
The premier prevarication is usually both shocking and unwise.
But in 2025 the lies came so fast and furious,
And were so widely hurtful and broadly injurious,
Politfact just gave up and called 2025 The Year of the Lies.
Donald Trump fancies himself a bit of a thespian,
But of the reality-show type — not a Shakespearian.
Though as he totters across the political stage,
His mind befuddled by vengeance and rage,
He seems less “The Apprentice’ and ever more Mad King Learian.
From Trump’s “stolen election” lies, we can’t get no relief,
He carps on about stolen votes, but he never names the thief.
Somebody needs to tell this guy
Americans aren’t buying his lies,
And that he’s turned us into the United States of Disbelief.
