Republican Reading Wreck
Public reading requires good locution
And the outgoing persona of a showman.
But one thing you really need
Before you begin to read
Is knowledge of what’s in the Constitution.
Category: Poetic Justice
The Unappealing Truth
OK, I’m about to reveal
How, during the 2012 elections, pols can keep it real.
Although it sounds moronic,
I’m not being ironic
When I say what it takes is “base appeal.”
Issa the Reformer
That nasty Darrell Issa is already drawing up a list o’
All the things the Obamas should get dissed for.
That Darrell Issa’s got the gumption
To root out imaginary corruption.
That Darrell Issa’s going to be a real pisser.
Miller Sues Again
Oh no, come on, say it ain’t so, Joe!
The ballots are counted and the winner you know, Joe.
We realize you feel lousy,
That your new senator’s Murkowski,
But just let it go and get on with the show, Joe.
Juan’s Ton o’ Merdre
Juan Williams is a sly Fox News analyst
Whose truthfulness makes him a fine panelist.
But when he said she has charisma,
Though her brain power’s dismal,
He must have known Sarah Palin would get pissed.
Now, Juan knows the career of a pundit
Is brief, and even more to his credit,
We don’t hear him wailin’
“I’ve pissed off Ma Palin!”
But he did mutter, “This is one ton of sh*t.”
Although Juan has come pretty far,
He knows it don’t pay to dis right-wing stars.
He’ll be singin’ the blues
As he exits Fox News,
But where to? He can’t go back to NPR!
Timing Is Everything
Congresspersons are pooh-poohing the skeptics
Who question their questionable ethics.
They say an influx of banknotes
Is just coincident to their votes,
And not some sinister pay-for-play antics.
Bah! Humbug! Begrudged
At Pensito Review, we eschew Xmas craze,
Preferring to observe heathen holy days.
And while it doesn’t please us
To perpetuate Baby Jesus,
Still, we offer you a hearty “Happy Holidays!”
A Squatter’s Rights
Emanuel wants to win the mayor’s race,
But he’s got to prove Chi-town’s his place.
“Hey look,” saith Rahm,
“Chicago’s my home!
“Just look at all the crap I left in my crawl space!”
From Left Field
The Koreas are all in a mess again.
So up steps diplomat Bill Richardson.
It’s sure to confuse China,
And give the Russians angina,
So let’s man up and send in the Mexican!
The Unquenchable ‘O’
She’s often been called the Queen of TV,
A champion of the bored, failed and needy.
But now Oprah’s trying to triple
Rates for her new channel on cable —
She might not be a lesbian, but she sure is greedy!
