Whoa, Mustang Ranch!
In Nevada Harry Reid’s an institution.
Now he’s offering a problem-less solution:
If the state wants image-mending,
It’s got to stop giving “happy endings,”
And put an end to legal prostitution.
Category: Poetic Justice
Government of One
Gov. Rick Scott’s used to getting his way,
He doesn’t care what the lawmakers say.
When he gets out of bed
The first thought in his head:
“Well, who am I going to piss off today?”
Bye WI, Hello OH
To Ohio Wisconsin’s Democrats have fled.
They’d rather run than put the budget to bed.
There are mobs in the street
As Republicans bleat:
“Bring home those dastardly cheeseheads!”
The Homeboy Conservative
Gov. Rick Scott told black lawmakers, “It’s true —
I grew up poor in the projects, like you.
And though I dance like a spazz,
I really dig jazz,
And fried chicken and watermelon, too!”
“Blacks are some of my best friends,
Like the home girl I picked for Lieutens,
I get down with the dozens
And one dated my cousin,
Oh, and I listen to Usher on the weekends!”
Off the Rails
It’s becoming a familiar refrain —
Floridians questioning Rick Scott’s brains.
What could possibly will him
To reject the feds’ $2.4 billion,
And just say no to a high-speed train?
An Italian Affair
Poor old Silvio Berlusconi.
I guess life at the top gets lonely.
So he created a drama
With an underaged mama
By playing hide the salami with Ruby!
60 Crappy Minutes
It’s true, “60 Minutes” turned into caca,
The night Anderson interviewed Lady Gaga.
Cooper’s wasted his potential,
Let’s yank his press credentials,
And put an end to this sorry TV saga.
Now the Void
The Egyptians all wanted him gone,
Now Mubarak’s stepped down from the throne.
As in victory they’re basking
Some must be asking,
“My gosh, what have we done?”
Mubarak left office in high dudgeon
With all the aplomb of a bondsman.
When he whipped out his debit card
He realized, now times are hard —
And all his Swiss assets were frozen!
Behold! Florida’s CEO!
If Florida Governor Rick Scott stays his course,
The Sunshine State’s just going to get worse.
Those who sold him the election
Are now, upon reflection,
Experiencing an acute case of seller’s remorse.
Despite Florida Republicans’ queasiness,
Over Scott’s budget hatchet-job messiness,
It’s good for the corporation
To cut jobs, services and education —
That’s how you run government like a business!
Worth Its Salt
Florida’s government has its faults,
With back-room deals done in its vaults.
But when push came to shove,
Out of desperation or love,
It quickly banned cocaine-like bath salts.
