Author: Trish

Florida Republican Legislator’s Gay Sex Solicitation Trial Fun While It Lasted

Trish

The fun’s over in Florida for now. We’ve been enjoying the coverage of the prostitution solicitation trial of State Rep. Bob Allen (R-Merritt Island), in which he was accused of offering to pay an undercover officer $20 to allow him to perform oral sex upon the officer’s male member.

Between blowing kisses to his wife and sporting the “I’m not a sex offender, I’m a racist” defense, the trial’s been a hoot. But now, alas, it’s over and the defendant was found…

Before you answer, let’s hear Allen’s side of things.

Between blowing kisses to his wife and sporting the “I’m not a sex offender, I’m a racist” defense, the trial’s been a hoot

State Rep. Bob Allen wasn’t searching for sex when he entered a park bathroom five times in about an hour, he just needed to relieve himself after drinking too much iced tea, his attorney told jurors…

“Unfortunately, nature does take its course,” said Greg Eisenmenger…

Tea, do you hear me? Not even beer, which you might believe someone would pee every 10 minutes. But I love the novel defense offered.

Eisenmenger disputed the officers’ version of events but said that even if jurors believe them, that doesn’t mean Allen committed the crime.

If it involves consenting adults, “there is nothing illegal about walking up to someone in a bathroom and picking them up,” he said.

Now see, that’s a funny thing. Because if the defendant had his way in the legislature, it would not only be a crime, but a righteous, serious one.

The lawmaker actually co-sponsored a bill months before his arrest that would have increased public sex charges from a misdemeanor to a felony. The proposed bill addressed “unnatural and lascivious acts or exposure or exhibition of sexual organs” within 1,000 feet of a park, school or child care facility.

So what was Allen up to? Glad you asked.

On the day he was arrested, Allen did chores at home, canceled plans to attend a luncheon and went to the park after dining at a nearby restaurant…

After that, the details are in dispute.

Kavanaugh, fit and young, said the seven-year state house veteran peeked into the handicapped stall when he entered for a paper towel, then went inside to join the officer.

He said Allen asked to go somewhere private, then testified telling the defendant: “I’m looking to get some money. Can you hook me up with $20?”

“Sure, I can do that. But this place is too public,” Allen allegedly said…

Allen stopped as he and Kavanaugh left the restroom and asked if he was a police officer, then motioned to follow, Whitaker, the prosecutor said…

“I don’t know what you’re into,” Allen said.

Kavanaugh asked if Allen wanted oral sex.

“I was thinking you would want one,” Allen said.

“But you’ll still give me the $20 for that, right?” Kavanaugh said.

“I would not argue with that,” Allen answered.

One of the highlights of the trial was the jury’s visit to the actual park restroom in question (road trip!). The other had to be Allen’s star-quality performance.

Allen, who has appeared confident throughout the trial, frequently smiled at jurors and courtroom spectators Wednesday and mouthed, “I love you” to his wife, Beth.

So what do you think? Guilty? Not guilty?

Oh hell yes. Guilty, guilty, guil-TEE.

The jury deliberated three hours and 20 minutes. After jurors filed out, Allen reached back into the gallery to touch his wife’s hand. She sat behind him Friday, as she had all week.

Pat Robertson Endorses Pro-Choice, Pro-Gay Rights, Thrice-Married Guiliani

Trish

Pat Robertson has removed all doubt on what he’s really about: Power, baby. Power.

Big news in the world of GOP politics today, with Rev. Pat Robertson endorsing former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani…

And of course, to hear another GOP presidential contender — former Arkansas Gov. (and Baptist minister) Mike Huckabee — tell it), this is further evidence that some of these conservative evangelical leaders “are more intoxicated with power than principle, … I hear some of the so-called Christian leaders say, ‘Well, we love Huckabee. He really agrees with us, and he’s one of us in terms of views. But, you know, we’re looking for somebody that we’re confident is going to win.’

Well, two things. First, a lot of these people if they would get behind me I’d be winning right now, and I think I will ultimately without them. But secondly, if they really are principled, it’s not about who might win, it’s about who stands with us. And, frankly, it’s a little disturbing, if not frightening, that some have forgotten the essence of what Jesus taught, and that is if you gain the whole world but lose your soul what does it profit you?”

Joke’s on you, Rev. Mike. It was never about souls to begin with.

Bush Goading Congress Into Historic First Veto Override; Look Out Now!

Trish
Congress?

Something momentous is about to happen, and it could mean the end of the Bush administration’s dominance over Congress. The Legislative branch is finally set to rear back on its hind legs and take a swipe at Bush by handing him his first veto override.

I’m betting that once it gets started, Congress will keep right on ripping.

The issue at hand is innocuous enough. On Friday, Bush exercised his fifth presidential veto to refuse legislation passed overwhelmingly to address one of this country’s worst domestic problems: water issues.

Bush brushed aside significant objections from Capitol Hill, even from Republicans, in vetoing legislation that provides $23 billion for projects like repairing hurricane damage, restoring wetlands and preventing flooding in communities across the nation…

Sen. George Voinovich, R-Ohio, pledged to work to override the veto. “We are facing a water infrastructure crisis and our national investment in water resources has not kept pace with our level of economic expansion,” Voinovich said.

You know Bush has blown it when even the Republicans are vowing to fight.

Bush never vetoed spending bills under the Republican Congress, despite budgetary increases then, too. Attempting to demonstrate fiscal toughness in the seventh year of his presidency, Bush risked being criticized for doing too little, too late and of waging a transparently partisan attack against the Democrats who now run Capitol Hill.

The president took the gamble, though without any public fanfare, as part of a broader effort to take on Democratic leaders frequently and more pointedly.

This is one bet Bush is going to lose. There are just too many good reasons to support the bill, and almost none to oppose it. The evidence of that is the bill’s easy passage — in the House the vote was 381-40, and in the Senate, 81-12.

One story labeled his strategy, “government by minority.”

But I think Bush miscalculated. He’s teasing the dog that’s always been tied to the tree one too many times. When the rope breaks and Congress gets a taste of blood — remembering what it feels like to be an equal participant in the governing process — who knows where it will stop?

Bush: Mukasey Needs to Know If We Do It Before He Can Say If It’s Torture

Trish

He did it again. Bush tried to scare the Senate into confirming the open-minded (when it comes to torture, anyway) Michael Mukasey to replace former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

Follow me closely here — Mukasey needs to know whether we waterboard because if we do it, it’s automatically not torture.

Bush later linked the debate to national security and suggested that senators were hampering his administration’s ability to pursue suspected terrorists by failing to swiftly approve Mukasey, a retired judge and former prosecutor.

“This is no time for Congress to weaken the Department of Justice by denying it a strong and effective leader,” Bush told the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank…

“There’s an enemy out there. I don’t want them to understand, to be able to adjust one way or the other,” Bush told reporters. “The American people have got to understand the program is important and the techniques used are within the law.”

Got that? If you don’t confirm Bush’s pick, you are aiding and abetting the enemy. Pretty soon, the terrorists have won. Because of you, you, you!

And see, the terrorists don’t know what might happen to them if we catch them. Waterboarding, hooking them up electrodes and having them stand in water with a hood over their head, siccing dogs on them…all these things are a complete surprise to terrorists when we do them, and we want to keep it that way.

And here’s the important part, folks, if we’re doing it, it’s not torture. Because, you know, we don’t torture. Bush said this about asking Mukasey about waterboarding.

“I believe the questions he’s been asked are unfair,” Bush said in an Oval Office session with reporters. “He’s been asked to give opinions of a program — or techniques of a program — on which he has not been briefed.”

…Bush said of Mukasey, “He doesn’t know whether we use that technique or not.”

And — follow me closely here — he needs to know whether we do it because if we do it, it’s automatically not torture. Because, as Bush has said many times, we don’t torture. So before Mukasey can say if it’s torture, he needs to know if America does it.

Read it a few more times, preferably like Bush, with your lips moving, and you’ll get it.

Cheney Hunts at Club Flying Confederate Flag

Trish

The vice president of the United States of America is hunting at a private club that flies the Confederate flag, the symbol of a society built on the backs of enslaved people, the descendants of whom the vice president is supposed to represent.

But hey, Cheney’s minions are saying it doesn’t count because just like Texas lawyer Harry Whittington, who he shot in the face last year, Dick didn’t actually see the flag.

A Cheney spokesman said the vice president never saw the flag…

Deer hunter Bill Tryon, 48, who works on Clove Road, where Cheney’s motorcade sped by in the morning, said he had no problem with the veep taking aim at the local game.

“As long as he doesn’t shoot anyone in the ass,” Tryon said.

But simply showing up at a hunting club that flies the battle flag is egregious, according to usually self-aggrandizing but in this case totally correct Rev. Al Sharpton.

The flag fiasco is especially upsetting because blacks have recently been subjected to an upsurge of racial threats, including nooses left in Jena, La., and Columbia University, he said.

“This is an outrage – he ought to leave immediately,” Sharpton told The News. “He ought to apologize to the American people for being there in the first place.”

You got that right, Al. And while he’s at it, Cheney should apologize to the birds who were the victims of his male potency fantasy.

Farm-bred pheasants were released on the preserve 24 hours before Cheney arrived, making them easy targets for the hunting party.

“The way they hunt, I’m not fond of,” said Linda Smith, 52, who runs a local preschool. “It’s not what I would call a real sportsmanlike activity.”

And in case you’re wondering, the scene of this rich, whites-only activity was…Union Vale in Upstate New York.

Lame Duck Bush Team Killing Time By Blogging

Trish

You know blogging has gone mainstream when two members of Bush’s cabinet start doing it.

Yes, I now have something in common with Michael Leavitt, Secretary of Health and Human Services, and Michael Chertoff, Secretary of Homeland Defense. Welcome to the internets tubes, guys!

The men take very different approaches with their blogs.

Leavitt says he writes every blog entry himself, often late at night in hotel rooms when he is traveling. He is concerned that his entries are too long; on Aug. 20, he wrote 2,444 words about his trip to an orphanage in South Africa.

…Chertoff comes up with an idea for a blog entry, then someone in the department writes it, and Chertoff heavily edits it, said Jeff Ostermayer, a department spokesman who oversees the blog.

Mercifully, Chertoff’s picture is not shown on his blog, “Leadership Journal,” which also calls upon guest contributors like W. Ralph Basham, U.S. Customs and Border Protection, and Kip Hawley, Transportation Security Administration.

Leavitt, possibly a frustrated editor, features no guests but he does offer a confusing list of categories. I guess you have to spend some time on the site to understand the differences between “health” (capitalization Leavitt’s own), “Health Coverage,” “Health Diplomacy,” “Health IT,” and “Personalized Health Care.”

The blogs are not quite like, say, ours. Or most others for that matter.

The public can comment on Chertoff’s and Leavitt’s blogs, but both departments established ground rules that include a ban on personal attacks and vulgar language.

As all you Pensito Reviewers know, the three of us are on the receiving end of our share of personal attacks and vulgarity. And every once in awhile, we’re on the giving end too. But knowing how much time blogging takes the three of us, I have to agree with a comment on one of Chertoff’s posts.

Another comment said, “This is a serious question. How do you have time to blog? Don’t you have a 24-hour-a-day job with very important things to do?”

Not really.

Borowitz Says Democrats Will Find a Way to Screw Up; Republicans Say They Already Did

Trish

Andy Borowitz needs to come to Florida. His parody column isn’t a spoof here — it’s reality.

Like manna from heaven, the Democratic presidential candidates’ boycott of Florida’s Jan. 29 primary has state GOP leaders giddy.

Amid a growing belief that there is no way the Democrats can blow the 2008 presidential election, Democratic National Committee chief Howard Dean sought today to reassure the party faithful that the party was “doing everything in its power” to uphold its losing tradition.

At a top-level summit called “Defeat: 2008” being held in Boston, the former Vermont Governor gave a rousing speech to concerned Democrats, bringing his audience to his feet by vowing, “I can assure each and every one of you, we will find a way to screw this up.”

Actually they already did. And while Democrats don’t acknowledge that banning candidates from campaigning in Florida to punish the state for moving its primary date is the dumbest thing they’ve ever done, the Republicans do.

Sure Republicans head into 2008 with an unpopular president, an unpopular war and no consensus on their best presidential candidate. But like manna from heaven, the Democratic presidential candidates’ boycott of Florida’s Jan. 29 primary has state GOP leaders giddy.

“I cannot imagine any candidate for president ever signing (such a pledge), but they have,” a beaming state Republican chairman Jim Greer told party leaders at the Presidency IV convention Sunday in Orlando…

“Our party, because of what the Democrats have done, has an opportunity that it has never had before…” Greer said. “Rules are important to any organization, but no one should be a prisoner of the rules.”

Even a Republican makes sense every now and then. Or, as Borowitz imagined it:

“Folks, let’s not forget, we’re Democrats,” Mr. Dean said. “If there’s a way to lose, we will find it.”