Make Reading the News More Enjoyable

18 Apr, 2025

Make Reading the News More Enjoyable

January 4, 2016 Buck Banks

Cartoon website xkcd.com offers the following list of suggested word substitutions to make reading the daily news — especially political reporting — much more entertaining.

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Make Reading the News More Enjoyable

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Poetic Justice

Verbatim

— Ontario Premier Doug Ford, in a conversation with David Frum.

”What distinguishes a concentration camp from a prison (in the modern sense) is that it functions outside of a judicial system. The prisoners are not indicted or convicted of any crime by judicial process.”

— From the Holocaust Encyclopedia.

“We are living in a moment of extraordinary danger, and how we respond to this moment will not only impact our lives but it will affect the lives of our kids and future generations. We are living in a moment where a handful of billionaires control the economic and political life of our country.”

— Sen. Bernie Sanders, quoted by the Washington Post.

“Once you grasp Trump as an elected monarch, his full rebuke to the very idea of America comes into clearer view. He is precisely — almost uncannily — what this country was founded to oppose: an arbitrary, corrupt, mendacious, and utterly incompetent king.”

— Andrew Sullivan

— A statement from China’s Finance Ministry

Numerati

$10 million

76%

$90 billion

36,000

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) drew a record-breaking crowd of at least 36,000 at his rally in Los Angeles on Saturday, The Guardian reports.

125%

“Beijing punched back with its own tariffs of 125 percent on all U.S. goods on Friday in response to President Donald Trump’s tariff increases, sharply escalating the spiraling trade tensions between the U.S. and China,” the Washington Post reports.