Newt’s finally getting off of the campaign bus,
Now that Mitt’s left him far behind in the dust.
But come on, man,
Get off the can —
This long goodbye is killing us!
Connect:
Soooo Loooong, Newt!
Poetic Justice
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
