Trump Offers to Fire Rove

Entrepreneur, impresario and unsuccessful casino owner Donald Trump has offered to go to Capitol Hill to personally tell Karl Rove “You’re fired!”

“If that’s what it will take to get Rove out of the White House, I’m more than glad, as a true patriot and CEO, to do the job,” Trump told the Associated Press. “I’ll even do it on camera.”

Republican Senate leaders are seriously considering the curiously coiffed exec’s offer as a way to end the ongoing embarrassment over Rove’s “outing” of CIA agent Valerie Plame. Sen. John McCain expressed frustration over Rove’s continued employment, as it appears no one else at the cabinet level or above has shown any interest in firing him.

“It’s time for someone to go up the Potomac River and terminate Rove’s employment with extreme prejudice,” McCain said in arcane Viet Nam-speak.

Democratic leaders applauded Trump’s offer.

Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont spoke for the Democratic leadership: “If it took the evisceration of our cherished First Amendment right to free speech, the trampling of the long-standing practice of protection of journalists’ confidential sources, the journalistic integrity of Time Inc. and a four-month jail sentence for Judy Miller to get rid of Rove, it was well worth it.”

In other news, White House physicians expressed alarm at the idea of Rove being separated from President Bush, saying the president would then likely be declared legally brain dead and forced onto life-support with a feeding tube.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.