Thoughts on Fatherhood from a Man Named Jeb, Whose Kids All Ended Up in the Police Blotter

The big surprise is that Jeb seems to realize how fortunate he was to have been born a Bush. Certainly, like Paris Hilton, he never would have gotten where he is in life had he been say, Jeb Griswold.

Palm Beach Post:

“I thank God every day that when I was born on February 11, 1953, I came out with my mom who’s my mom, which meant that I got to have my dad, who has been an incredible inspiration to me in every way,” Bush said of his father, former President George H.W. Bush.

You kind of lost of me for a minute, but a big “duh,” there Jeb.

And didn’t George H.W. spawn kids to be proud of?

o George W. — nuff said

o Neil, the poster child for failing at both business (Silverado Savings & Loan) and marital fidelity (Chinese calls girls, divorce and paternity tests)

o Marvin, who was director of the firm that provided electronic security for the World Trade Center and Dulles International Airport, the airport where American Airlines flight 77 originated on the morning of September 11th

o Dorothy, or Doro, as her family calls her, whose husband #2, Richard Koch, is son of the founder of the John Birch Society. His family foundation funds Libertarian causes and conservative think tanks including the Cato Institute. During the Clinton administration, one of his companies, Koch Oil, was charged with 97 counts of covering evidence of a benzene spill in Corpus Christi and another 315 acts of pollution.

o Jeb himself, who is only too happy to give fathers credit for how children turn out.

The governor touted studies that indicate that a child with an involved father is “more likely to meet success, to live a healthier lifestyle, maintain higher self-esteem, and perform better inside and outside the classroom.”

Bush said his own parenthood has been “the most rewarding experience of my life.”

…Bush’s 27-year-old daughter, Noelle, graduated from a 16-month drug court program nearly two years ago after her arrest in 2002 for attempting to obtain the drug Xanax with a forged prescription at a Tallahassee pharmacy.

What dad wouldn’t be proud to take credit for raising his kids when they turn out like that? Makes me kind of tear up just thinking about it. Noelle lives with Jeb and Columba at the governor’s mansion but his sons, George P. and Jeb Jr. (does this family have any imagination at all?) have been exiled to Texas.

While still in Miami, George P. had the police called on him after he broke into his ex-girlfriend’s house at 4 a.m. and began arguing with her father. Twenty minutes after he fled the scene, he returned in his Ford Explorer and tore across the front lawn, grinding a path through the grass.

Jeb Jr. had Tallahassee police summoned after someone called mall security about a couple in the back of a Jeep Cherokee. They found them in the parking lot, both naked from the waist down although Jebby, as he is known, showed his fine Bush breeding by retaining his socks.

If Jeb is half the father that he is a governor, and judging by his kids, I’d say he is, it’s no mystery how they’ve turned out.

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