At the United Nations, Donald Trump berated an international crowd,
And said all the internal, secret things that shouldn’t be said out loud.
His performance was intensely embarrassing,
And the media worked overtime sane-washing
What was “a crack-brained elderly man-child shouting at windmills and clouds.”
We’ve never considered comedy one of his avocations,
And he seems to have the sense of humor of a crustacean.
But we must confess,
In his Tuesday address,
Donald Trump got some good laughs at the United Nations.
Kimberly Alters of the Week covered Donald Trump’s speech to the United Nations General Assembly today. Here’s how it went:
President Trump addressed the United Nations General Assembly in New York City on Tuesday, speaking directly to the gathered world leaders for the second time in his presidency. “One year ago, I stood before you for the first time,” Trump said to begin his speech, explaining that he planned to update U.N. leaders on the “extraordinary progress we’ve made.”
Rote introduction dispensed with, Trump’s solemn tone forecasted a serious, on-message speech. That is, until his very next sentence. “In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country,” he said — prompting laughter from his audience. Trump interrupted himself to say his declaration was “so true,” which only evoked heartier laughter from the crowd.
After an awkward beat, Trump relented: “Didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s okay,” he said with a half-smile. Again, the crowd laughed, this time with applause. Watch the stunning moment below.
Foreign Policy: “State Department staffers have been instructed to seek cuts in excess of 50% in U.S. funding for U.N. programs, signaling an unprecedented retreat by President Trump’s administration from international operations that keep the peace, provide vaccines for children, monitor rogue nuclear weapons programs, and promote peace talks from Syria to Yemen, according to three sources.”
Getting spied on got the United Nations in a huff.
“Hey,” they said, “already, enough’s enough!”
“What can we say?”
Said the NSA.
“We had to do SOMETHING with all this cool spy stuff.”
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
“The man is afraid of the voice of the people and that the people understand and know what he’s doing. He’s trying to stifle the ability of journalists to let the people of America know what’s really going on with their government.”
— “Kamala Harris called President Donald Trump’s ban of CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House ‘absolutely abhorrent,’” The Wrap reports.
“Not one of them is trained in technical skills. Not one research PhD, as opposed to China, where half the cabinet is science and technology PhDs. We’re led by grifters and fools.”
— Columbia professor Jeffrey Sachs, on X, on President Trump’s 35-person cabinet.
“Mr. President, some of your immigration enforcement efforts have gone too far… The same Hispanics who helped you get to the White House in 2024 feel betrayed today.”
— Rep. Maria Elvira Salazar (R-FL), breaking with President Trump in a direct-to-camera video.
“Donald Trump made over a thousand stock sales and purchases worth between $79m and $270m in July,” The Guardian reports. “His two largest sales were of Amazon and Microsoft stock, selling between $5m and $25m each on 20 July. That same day, he also sold up to $5m worth of Oracle and Costco stock, $500,000 to $1m in Nvidia, and bought up to $5m worth of shares in Intuit and Salesforce, among dozens of other transactions.”
“The unprecedented spate of mid-decade redistricting for the U.S. House has changed the congressional districts for one-tenth of Americans and significantly altered the makeup of at least one-fifth of districts, according to a new study,” the Associated Press reports.
A new Fox News Poll finds 71% of voters think the Trump administration lacks a clear strategy for ending the Iran War, including 95% of Democrats, 83% of independents, and 43% of Republicans. Sixty percent say U.S. military action against Iran was the wrong decision, while just 37% say it was right.
“The Trump administration last year spent $9.5 billion on paid administrative leave for federal workers as part of its plan to shrink the government and save taxpayers money, according to a new estimate by a congressional watchdog,” CNN reports.
Reuters has documented at least 470 targets of retribution under Trump’s leadership – from federal employees and prosecutors to universities and media outlets. The list illuminates the sweeping effort by the president and his administration to punish dissent and reshape the government.