And his renewed Presidential Fitness Test will combat overeating.
The test will include running, racing and sit-ups,
As well as push-ups, jumping jacks and pull-ups.
Of course, Trump will add his own best event: Presidential Golf Cheating.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
