Melania’s unbidden Epstein denials had us reaching for pearls to clutch,
As the First Lady would have us believe that she’s an innocent nonesuch.
But when it comes to Jeffrey Epstein,
Mel’s denials seems a little too keen,
Which leads us to the conclusion that she doth protest too much.
They lived the high life, like a couple of oil-rich sheikhs.
They jetted between New York and Palm Beach —
Always with lots of young tush within reach.
They were just a pair of rich, perverted, middle-aged creeps.
As his MAGA coalition is beset by competing conspiracy styles.
Now Trump says they were written
By Obama, Clinton, Comey and Biden.
But there’s a simple reason why Trump won’t release the Epstein files.
Musk and Trump have very different personality styles.
Trump is all lies and threats; Musk is all lies and wiles.
But their very public feud
Just got very publicly rude
When Elon said that Donald’s name can be found in the Epstein files.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
