Some say Hollywood’s brightest years are done and gone,
But Donald Trump plans to bring back those days of halcyon.
He scoured Tinsel Town’s trash bins
And recruited some famous has-beens,
Naming as “special envoys” Mel Gibson, Jon Voigt and Sly Stallone.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
