What’s small and round and piles up until you have too many?
Don’t worry, the U.S. Mint has a plan to ensure there aren’t any.
It’s bought its last copper blanks,
Which’ll save $56 million, so thanks!
Next they’re gunning for the nickel after killing off the penny.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
