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“I want to start by wishing my wife Melania a very happy birthday. It would be nice to be with her, but I’m at a courthouse for a rigged trial.”
— Donald Trump, walking into the courthouse. Trump is literally in court because he was unfaithful to Melania.
Although Donald Trump complains that his criminal trial keeps him off the campaign trail, he spent Wednesday — the day when court isn’t scheduled — playing golf and not campaigning.
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CNN
“He said, ‘Oh, my God, Chris. I could never do that. I can never go to jail. They tell you when to go to bed at night and when to wake up in the morning and what to wear and what to do, who you can talk to and what you can eat. I could never do that.’”
— Former Gov. Chris Christie (R), quoted by the Washington Post, on Donald Trump’s fears of going to jail.
“I think everybody has made their own assessment of President Trump’s character, and so far as I know you don’t pay someone $130,000 not to have sex with you.”
— Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT), on CNN.
“In America today‚ 2024, women have fewer rights than their mothers or their grandmothers had, because of Donald Trump. I don’t think we’re going to let him get away with it, do you?”
— President Biden at a campaign stop in Tampa, reported by Tampa Bay Times.
“Mr. Blanche, you’re losing all credibility with this court.”
— Judge Juan Merchan, quoted by NBC News, to Donald Trump’s lawyer in the “hush money” criminal trial.
“Some of the 49 migrants flown to Martha’s Vineyard by the state of Florida are now able to legally work in the United States and have temporary protections from deportation — because they are considered victims of a potential crime. … The migrants are eligible for these protections because they applied for a special kind of visa meant for crime victims who are helping law enforcement, after they said they were tricked into taking charter flights from San Antonio to Massachusetts with false promises of jobs and other aid.”
“We care more about the safety of our staff than a name attached to an article.”
In its panning of Taylor Swift’s new album (3.6/10 rating), Paste Magazine chose to put “Paste Staff” as the piece’s author instead of the individual who wrote it. That’s because following Paste’s negative review of Swift’s Lover album in 2019, the reviewer received threats of violence from fans who disagreed. As for its critique of The Tortured Poets Department, Paste Staff said its “mid-ness” was the result of “when the artist making it no longer feels challenged, where she strikes out looking.”
“The House is a rough and rowdy place, but Mike Johnson is gonna be just fine. I served 20 years in the military, it’s my absolute honor to be in Congress. But I serve with some real scumbags. Matt Gaetz, he paid minors to have sex with him at drug parties. Bob Good endorsed my opponent, a known neo-Nazi. These people used to walk around with white hoods at night. Now they’re walking around with white hoods in the daytime.”
— Rep. Tony Gonzalez (R-TX), on CNN.
“This week has been a howling vortex of suck for the MAGA movement and Donald Trump. Imagine a black hole in the profound interstellar vacuum in the cold emptiness of space, drawing all matter and energy into its brutal singularity, an ineluctable and final journey into nothingness. … That’s the GOP this week. It’s been bad and will get worse.”
