The End of the Affair – With John Edwards

Pensito Review editor Jon has come under flak for the mere mention of the Edwards affair. I made my strong support of John Edwards known on this very news and information web site before the Florida primary. I liked all of his policies, found him personally non-annoying, and of course, loved his wife. Still do. Read her book, logged on to her blog — I’m a total Elizabeth fan.

So when Jon brought the National Enquirer story to my attention a couple of weeks ago, I hoped it wasn’t true. But I told him and Buck it bothered me that at the time of the announcement Elizabeth’s cancer was back, there was no physical contact between her and John. They stoically did not cling to one another, or even drape an arm around a waist. or clench hands. Early in the press conference, when Elizabeth wiped away a tear, John didn’t reach over and touch her. I noticed it, and looking again at it now, I am amazed at how unironic they both were as they talked about how they had faced hard times together before. We all thought they were talking about losing a son and an election campaign. Maybe they were.

In announcing he had an affair, Edwards said there was nothing bad we could say about him that he hasn’t already said about himself. I think he’s telling the truth there, and I think that’s an appropriate attitude. His own shame should outweigh any we can heap upon him. I would be even more disappointed in him to think otherwise.

It’s inevitable that we will draw comparisons with Bill Clinton, the other handsome Democrat who didn’t keep it in his pants when we wished he had. But one difference jumps out at me: Edwards says he confessed to Elizabeth first, as soon as he ended the affair. If only Bill had done the same. Instead, Hillary was the last to know, after reporters, Congressional committees, and yeah, you and me. Bill let Hillary go out there and defend him, knowing the whole time it was lies, lies, lies. At least Elizabeth got the courtesy of a private heads-up.

As I also told Jon and Buck, divorce is only one of many possible responses to adultery. It’s the one we see on T.V., the one that usually involves running up a credit card bill for dozens of pairs of expensive shoes and sticking the cheater with same, but it’s not always the one we reach for in real life. Marriage is much more complex than situation comedy, thank the lord.

I have almost no interest in whether John Edwards is the father of the other woman’s child, or the fact that he lied to reporters during the presidential campaign. My thoughts are with Elizabeth. And if anyone wants to second-guess her choice to remain married, or to support her husband in their shared vision for this country, they should find something else to do.

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