April 20, 2026 - Pensito

Carney Reflects on Canada-U.S. Relations

April 20, 2026 Buck Banks

“Many of our former strengths, based on our close ties to America, have become weaknesses.”

— Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, quoted by the Associated Press.

Kash Seeks $250 Million Cash from The Atlantic

April 20, 2026 Buck Banks

$250 million

FBI Director Kash Patel filed a defamation lawsuit against The Atlantic magazine on Monday, saying a recent story about his alleged frequent drinking and absences included “false and obviously fabricated” claims, CBS News reports.

Maybe Probably Not

April 20, 2026May 1, 2026 Buck Banks

As a person, Donald Trump is not very nice,
He treats his job as an ongoing grift and daily heist.
Given all Trump’s chaos and crimes,
It may seem like apocalyptic End Times,
But Bible scholars agree that Trump is maybe probably not the antichrist.

Trading News for Booze

April 20, 2026April 29, 2026 Buck Banks

We read about the resignations of Gonzales and Swalwell,
And we’ve kept up with the cease-fires and damaged oil wells.
But about the Strait of Hormuz,
We were just fed up with the news,
So we went out on a binge with our old drinking buddy, Kash Patel.

Day: April 20, 2026

Carney Reflects on Canada-U.S. Relations

“Many of our former strengths, based on our close ties to America, have become weaknesses.”

— Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, quoted by the Associated Press.

Kash Seeks $250 Million Cash from The Atlantic

$250 million

FBI Director Kash Patel filed a defamation lawsuit against The Atlantic magazine on Monday, saying a recent story about his alleged frequent drinking and absences included “false and obviously fabricated” claims, CBS News reports.

Maybe Probably Not

Trading News for Booze

Poetic Justice

Verbatim

“We’re not talking about socialists, these are communists, Marxists and anarchists. You got to be kidding. They want us to call them democratic socialists, there’s nothing democratic about these people.”

— Rep. Tom Emmer (R-MN), quoted by Fox News.

— Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, quoted by the New York Post.

“This is not going to be a win. And it’s not going to be a wave. It’s going to be a wipeout.”

— Democratic strategist Paul Begala, quoted by the New York Post.

Numerati

29,000

Wall Street Journal: “The U.S. added 29,000 jobs in September, far short of expectations, in a sign that the labor market remains steady but may not be able to deliver consistent and sizable employment gains like it did in the past.”

13%

1,000

10%

“The unprecedented spate of mid-decade redistricting for the U.S. House has changed the congressional districts for one-tenth of Americans and significantly altered the makeup of at least one-fifth of districts, according to a new study,” the Associated Press reports.

71%

A new Fox News Poll finds 71% of voters think the Trump administration lacks a clear strategy for ending the Iran War, including 95% of Democrats, 83% of independents, and 43% of Republicans. Sixty percent say U.S. military action against Iran was the wrong decision, while just 37% say it was right.