Rep. Michele Bachmann’s relationship with her debate coach was not casual.
Indeed, aides say his Rasputin-like thrall over her was unusual.
We contend, to be clear,
Though it was pretty weird,
It’s the relationship with her gay husband Marcus that’s “unnatural.”
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
