Sen. Stephen Wise, R-Jacksonville, and state Rep. Janet Adkins, R-Fernandina Beach, have filed identical bills in the House and Senate that would make the individual ingredients that make up the pretend pot — which is sold as “incense” — illegal. The stuff is described as dried herbs sprayed with chemicals, and it’s labeled not for human consumption.
The federal Drug Enforcement Administration has already announced that it is declaring the five main ingredients illegal for a period of one year while it studies the deceptive dope’s effects on human people. Not content to let the federal government do its job, the lawmakers are determined to outlaw the fakey whacky tobacky on the state level first.
Ironically, the stuff was created by John Huffman (huff-man, get it?), a researcher at South Carolina’s Clemson University, who was studying the effects of THC — the mellow in Jamaican yellow — on the brains of humans. Huffman maintains that the Jacksonville sinsemilla is not fit for human consumption, either.
The intrepid reporter actually went around the Jacksonville area questioning employees at gas stations and convenience stores where the counterfeit cannabis is sold, but none would say how much of the bogus bong fuel they were selling. My guess is they don’t get many repeat customers, going by the description of the effects of the sham spliffs:
In November, the American Association of Poison Control Centers issued a news release saying that synthetic marijuana had spurred more than 2,000 calls to poison centers across the country in 2010.
“These products present a health risk that is not worth it for consumers,” said Anthony J. Scalzo, the centers’ medical director. “The products are meant to create a similar reaction to marijuana, but in fact, patients often report the opposite — a fast, racing heartbeat, elevated blood pressure and nausea.”
Those symptoms don’t spell a mellow afternoon of listening to “Dark Side of the Moon” on headphones. But then, this is a generation of youngsters who chug caffeine drinks spiked with alcohol for a heart-stopping good time.
Still, at a time when Florida is facing such challenges as double-digit unemployment, a foreclosure crisis and an education system that has tanked, it’s good to know our elected Republican representatives are addressing the pressing issue of young people smoking crap that makes them dizzy and nauseous.
Just imagine what mischief the Florida legislature could do if it was in session year-round … now I’m feeling a bit nauseous myself.
