Celebrate Bush’s Birthday in Your Own Special Way

We at Pensito Review would be remiss if we let the whole day go by without wishing the Current Occupant, our very own Preznit Bush, a happy birthday!

The asshole of the world turns 61 today, while more than 3,500 American service members and likely hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians will never have another birthday again.

We’d get him a gift, but we could never top the one bestowed on him by a passing bird during a recent rose garden press conference.

Leave a comment and let us know what gift you’d like to give Dumya today to show him how much you hope he enjoys his special day.

Fort Lauderdale Mayor Proposes Spending Millions to Eliminate Gay Sex at the Beach

Watch out, George Michael: Jim Naugle, the mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., has proposed buying $250,000 high-tech toilets to prevent “illegal sex” acts from being performed in public restrooms at the city’s beaches. Apparently the doors of the toilets open after a set time period, thereby making the robotic contraption — which also plays music and automatically cleans the seat — a sub-optimal venue for illicit sex.

Naugle sure doesn’t put a polite spin on it:

I don’t use the word ‘gay.’ I use the word ‘homosexual.’ Most of them aren’t gay. They’re unhappy.
— Mayor Jim Naugle

“We’re trying to provide a family environment where people can take their children who need to use the bathroom,” he said, “without having to worry about a couple of men in there engaged in a sex act.”

Though police say sex in restrooms is no longer a hot crime, the mayor thinks it is. He talked about the illicit sex recently in public meetings, in an interview and in e-mails to residents.

Naugle, not a stranger to public controversy, particularly on the issue of gays, said public restrooms are pickup places for “homosexuals. … They’re engaging in sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex.”

The proposed location for the city’s experimental automated toilet is the parking lot at Sebastian Street, at what many locals call the “gay beach.” Naugle told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel that the intelligent commode’s security features are vital at this location, which he called “the rainbow parking lot.”

“The homosexual newspaper said it’s the ‘gay parking lot.’ That’s not me saying that,” Naugle said in the interview, “that’s what they said. I don’t use the word ‘gay.’ I use the word ‘homosexual.’ Most of them aren’t gay. They’re unhappy.”

Naugle, a what else — conservative Christian — has made a name for himself in South Florida for his no-holds-barred, no-brain-engaged comments.

For instance, he refused to sign a mayors’ pact on greenhouse gas reductions, claiming it was put forward by environmentalist “whackos” who hate America. He also made the insightful if illogical comment that home prices in South Florida would be lower if middle class people would stop sitting on the couch drinking beer and get to work. When a religious festival came to town, Naugle said those who opposed the city supporting a Christian event could just “go to Iraq.”

Of course, the local gay community weighed in on Naugle’s comments. Well, “weighed in” is, I suppose, a relative term:

“Excuse me?” said Marc Hansen, a leader among local gay residents. “Thank God this is his last term.”

Snappy comeback, Marc!

Tune in Live Earth 7/7/07

Take a break from whatever you’re doing tomorrow and check out Live Earth, the international music event to combat global warming.

Live Earth is a 24-hour, 7-continent concert series taking place on 7/7/07 that will bring together more than 100 music artists and 2 billion people to trigger a global movement to solve the climate crisis.

Live Earth will reach this worldwide audience through an unprecedented global media architecture covering all media platforms – TV, radio, Internet and wireless channels…

Live Earth was founded by Kevin Wall, the Worldwide Executive Producer of Live 8, an event that brought together one of the largest audiences in history to combat poverty. Wall formed a partnership with Al Gore and the Alliance for Climate Protection to ensure that Live Earth inspires behavioral changes long after 7/7/07.

Live Earth will stage official concerts at Giants Stadium in New York; Wembley Stadium in London; Aussie Stadium in Sydney; Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro; the Coca-Cola Dome in Johannesburg; Makuhari Messe in Tokyo; the Oriental Pearl Tower in Shanghai; and HSH Nordbank Arena in Hamburg.

Live Earth concerts will be broadcast to a live worldwide audience by MSN at www.LiveEarth.MSN.com.

The newest artist to be added to the list of performers is Yusuf, formerly known as Cat Stevens.

Victor Rita Case Makes Libby’s Commutation Look Suspicious

It’s hard to imagine a more apt and revealing counterpoint to Scooter Libby’s criminal case than the case of Victor Rita, a North Carolina vet who was accused by the feds of lying under oath, twice, about buying an illegal machine gun.

Both Rita and Libby were convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice in federal cases. Both were sentenced to around 30 months in jail. Both sentences were appealed, and Bush officials at the highest levels were involved in the appeals as they played themselves out this year.

In their appeals, both Rita and Libby sought leniency based on their records of public service and current circumstances. Victor Rita served in the Marine Corps for 25 years, including tours of duty in Vietnam and Gulf War I. He is now advanced in age and in failing health. As a result of his crimes, he has been wiped out financially.

Pres. George Bush described Scooter Libby’s career in public service as “exceptional,” but a review of Libby’s bio reveals him to be a neocon bureaucrat who held a series of political positions in Republican administrations before moving up to the Cheney-Bush White House — where he was either a witness or a participant in skullduggery and shenanigans the half of which we don’t yet know. Otherwise, Libby is in his late 50s, appears to be in excellent health, and was able to pay his $250,000 fine out of his checking account, probably with the help of a defense fund set up by powerful Republicans friends like Fred Thompson and Mary Matalan.

Earlier this year the appeals by Rita and Libby both took dramatic turns, at which point the similarities between the two cases came to an abrupt end.

Rita’s moment came when his appeal was heard before the Supreme Court. Contrary to earlier accounts, the hearing was not in 2006. It was five months ago, on Feb. 20, 2007. And the Bush administration’s participation was not merely as a “friend of the court,” as it has been described. The government was a party, the respondent, in the appeal.

At the Supreme Court, Bush’s solicitor general, Paul Clement, argued for upholding Rita’s sentence, describing it as reasonable — a position very much in line with the administration’s tough stance on sentencing.

On June 21, the court issued its ruling, siding with the administration. Rita’s appeal was denied.

Less than two weeks later, on July 3, Pres. Bush commuted Libby’s 30-month sentence, calling it, without a trace of irony, “excessive.”

What Rita so aptly reveals is that the president’s stated reasons for commuting Libby’s sentence — the harshness of the sentence and Libby’s exceptional public service — were bogus. We can only speculate about his real motives, and it is too soon to know whether the commutation will turn out to be a political blunder of the first order or a criminal act, or both or neither.

But there appears to be blood in the water. The Bushies are out in force trying to change the storyline by slamming the Wilsons and desperately downplaying the seriousness of Libby’s crimes. (On Hardball yesterday, David Rivkin, trotted out the thoroughly debunked claim that Valerie Wilson was not covert.) They are desperate to deflect attention from the particulars of Libby’s crimes — that he was convicted of lying to a federal grand jury and the FBI and obstructing an investigation into a conspiracy at the top of the administration to out a CIA specialist in weapons of mass destruction.

This obfuscation may work as well this time as it has from the beginning. On the other hand, while average Americans found the CIA leak scandal to be boring or confusing or too inside-the-Beltway, they totally get a powerful man buying off a witness who knows where all his bodies are buried.