Who’s behind the payback firings of U.S. attorneys? Do you think it’s:
a) Attorney General/Bush personal lawyer Alberto Gonzales
b) Deputy Chief of Staff/Bush Brain Karl Rove
c) Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Lying Weasel Asshat Bush
d) All of the above
Yes, students. Both answers and “c” and “d” are correct.
Which is why it rankles so to hear Bush talk about it they way he did during a press conference with Mexican President Felipe Calderon this week. Bush makes it sound as if the skullduggery manifested out of thin air, not unlike a plop of pigeon poo on your shoulder as you walk beneath telephone wires. Except the pigeons all have the seal of the Oval Office on their wings.
On Wednesday, Bush said he passed on to Gonzales complaints that he had received about the attorneys last fall but did not name names or ask him to fire anyone.
The president said the decision to fire the attorneys was justified.
“And yet this issue was mishandled to the point now where you’re asking me questions about it in Mexico,” Bush said.
Man, that pisses me off. Here he is in frickin’ Mexico, and you want him to be accountable.
We need to be straight about what the problem is, folks. What we have here — and follow me closely now — is a failure to communicate. It’s not that anyone did anything wrong. No, Bush somehow managed to effectively pass along complaints without naming names, and by some miracle of coincidence Gonzales correctly identified who needed to be fired and did so.
So obviously, the problem is that you people just aren’t getting the right message. But we’re going to fix that.
Bush said he and Gonzales, a longtime friend from Houston, “talked about his need to go up to Capitol Hill and make it very clear to members in both political parties why the Justice Department made the decisions it made.”
…”Mistakes were made, and frankly, I’m not happy about it,” Bush said… “Al was right, mistakes were made, and he’s going to go up to Capitol Hill to correct them.”
See, this needs to be done with “members in both political parties.” Because it’s, you know, partisan criticism. So we’re going to do the right thing and lie to members of both political parties, not just one. Got it?
Evidently not.
A few hours after the president’s news conference, Sen. John Sununu of New Hampshire became the first congressional Republican to call on Gonzales to step down.
Somebody call Rover. Now!
Sounds as if bush just watched a re-run of “Cool Hand Luke” and is quoting that famous scene.
“What we have here is a failure to communicate”.
Not original, not even a good excuse.
“Al was right, mistakes were made, and he’s going to go up to Capitol Hill to correct them.â€
That’s right, pardner. There will be a showdown at the Capitol at
“High Noon.”
Starring Al Gonzales as Gary Cooper and Karl Rove as Grace Kelly.
GW Bush in a cameo role as a horse turd.
And everyone’s favorite sadist,
Dick “IGOR” Cheney as the local madam.
A BushCO production, which is a subsidiary of Halliburton, which is owned by the Carlyle Group.
An “End of Times” Production.
Rated B–for barfing.