Did Hillary Get One Less Vote?

NEW YORK (CNN) …[F]ormer “first daughter” Chelsea Clinton… turned up shortly after 6 a.m. at her polling site on West 20th Street — in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan — only to be told her name was not in the voter registration books there, a voting official said.

It turned out the registration book for her district had been mistakenly sent to the wrong location, said New York City Board of Elections Executive Director John Ravitz.

She filed an affidavit vote — a paper ballot that allows election workers to confirm that a voter is properly registered after their vote is cast. If the voter is not registered, the vote is not accepted.

Borowitz: Same-Sex Massage Amendment

If you didn’t know he was kidding…

In one of the most stunning November surprises in recent memory, the Republican Party today declared its unequivocal support for a constitutional amendment legalizing same-sex massage…

“This constitutional amendment defines massage as a rub-down between a man and a man, one of whom may or may not be selling crystal meth,” Mr. Rove said.

The same-sex massage amendment was not the only Hail Mary pass thrown by a Republican on Election Day, as Virginia senate candidate George Allen attempted to close the gender gap in his race by announcing that he was a woman.

Mr. Allen, who did not know he was Jewish until earlier this year, said he made a similar discovery about his gender on the eve of the midterm election.

“When I discovered that I was a woman after all of these years of believing I was a man, all I could think was, ‘Oy,'” Mr. Allen said.