Day: March 3, 2006

Missouri Bill Would Establish Christianity as State Religion

Jon Ponder

The United States Constitution says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion….”

And yet, in Bush’s America:

Missouri legislators in Jefferson City considered a bill that would name Christianity the state’s official “majority” religion.

House Concurrent Resolution 13 has is pending in the state legislature…

The resolution would recognize “a Christian god,” and it would not protect minority religions, but “protect the majority’s right to express their religious beliefs.

The resolution also recognizes that, “a greater power exists,” and only Christianity receives what the resolution calls, “justified recognition.”

State representative David Sater of Cassville in southwestern Missouri, sponsored the resolution, but he has refused to talk about it on camera or over the phone.

O’Reilly Threatens Caller with Visit from ‘Fox Security’

Jon Ponder

Bill O’Reilly has gone off the deep end — again. Earlier this week, he threatened a caller to his radio show who had the temerity to mention Keith Olbermann’s name on O’Reilly’s air:

“Fox security then will contact your local authorities, and you will be held accountable,” — Bill O’Reilly

O’REILLY: Orlando, Florida, Mike, go.

CALLER: Hey Bill, I appreciate you taking my call.

O’REILLY: Sure.

CALLER: I like to listen to you during the day, I think Keith Olbermann’s show —

O’REILLY: There ya go, Mike is — he’s a gone guy. You know, we have his — we have your phone numbers, by the way. So, if you’re listening, Mike, we have your phone number, and we’re going to turn it over to Fox security, and you’ll be getting a little visit.

HILL: Maybe Mike is from the mothership.

O’REILLY: No, Maybe Mike is going to get into big trouble, because we’re not going to play around. When you call us, ladies and gentleman, just so you know, we do have your phone number, and if you say anything untoward, obscene, or anything like that, Fox security then will contact your local authorities, and you will be held accountable. Fair?

HILL: That’s fair.

O’REILLY: So, just — all you guys who do this kind of a thing, you know, I know some shock jocks. Whatever. You will be held accountable. Believe it.

We’ll be right back.

PR Editor Jon Striken With Flu

Trish

If it seems a little quiet around the halls of Pensito Review, it’s because PR Editor Jon — fully one-half of our three-person team — was stricken with an exotic California disease earlier this week.

After first making sure with resident expert PR Editor Buck that what Jon, a vegetarian, has is not bird flu, he valiantly submitted to recommendations for various rememdies from both Trish and Buck. Airborne and Emergen-C were both praised, while Zicam was panned.

Later, realizing Jon is after all in California, Buck suggested he avail himself of local custom and have his chakras adjusted, his chi energy redirected, and the feng shui of his apartment realigned.

On a note of familial pride, Jon is to be commended for vigilantly avoiding OTC rememdies that interfere with the body’s natural drinking process.

If you have a favorite flu cure, or just want to send a note of condolence, please post it now.

Going to Gaza?

Buck Banks

Adventure travel: Just in case you are considering vacationing in the West Bank or Gaza Strip, The U.S. State Department doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Here’s the latest travel alert for the region:

The Department of State urges U.S. citizens to carefully weigh the necessity of their travel to Israel in light of the risks noted below. The Department also urges U.S. citizens to defer unnecessary travel to the West Bank and avoid all travel to the Gaza Strip.

American citizens in the Gaza Strip should depart immediately, a recommendation the State Department has maintained since the deadly roadside bombing of a U.S. Embassy convoy in Gaza on October 15, 2003. Unless specifically authorized,U.S. government personnel are prohibited from all travel in Gaza. Overall conditions of lawlessness prevailin the Gaza Strip, Israeli military operations continue, and areas of violent conflict shift rapidly and unpredictably. Militants have abducted Western citizens and held them for short periods, and terrorist organizations have threatened attacks against U.S. interests.

American citizens should stay away from demonstrations and generally avoid crowded public places, such as restaurants and cafes, shopping and market areas and malls, pedestrian zones, public transportation of all kinds, including buses and trains and their respective stations/terminals, and the areas around them.

Violence between the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) and militant groups based in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank can flare up without notice in the form of rocket attacks into Israel by Palestinian militants, targeted assassinations of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip by Israeli forces, and ongoing IDF security operations in the West Bank. The uncertain security conditions within the West Bank and Gaza continue as well, with the potential for violent protests, kidnappings, including of foreign nationals, and fighting between various armed factions.

In recent months, citizens of Western nations, including Americans, involved in pro-Palestinian volunteer efforts were assaulted and injured in the Occupied Territories by Israeli settlers and harassed by the IDF. Those taking part in demonstrations, non-violent resistance, and “direct action”, are advised to cease such activity for their own safety.

Now that Hamas is in power, I’m sure Gaza and the West Bank soon will be the Riviera of the Middle East.

Public Thinks Bush is Doing a Lousy Job of Handling Even Nonexistent Terror

Trish

The president’s handling of terrorism was highly criticized by those who responded to a recent Bloomberg poll.

That’s kind of startling, considering Bush hasn’t had any terrorism to handle since Sept. 11, 2001.

Americans just seem pissed off with their leader’s flawless record of failure.

Americans just seem pissed off with their leader’s flawless record of failure.

U.S. public opinion turned against President George W. Bush’s handling of terrorism, his signature political strength, last month amid overwhelming opposition to plans to let a Dubai company operate U.S. port facilities.

For the first time, a majority of Americans, 54 percent, disapprove of Bush’s dealing with terrorism…

Bush’s job approval rating fell to 38 percent, a five-point drop from a month ago, fueled also by rising discontent over the Iraq war.

The poll taken from Feb. 25 to March 1 found that almost two-thirds of Americans disapprove of Bush’s handling of Iraq, amid a surge in sectarian violence there. Sixty-four percent say the U.S. is on the wrong track, while 30 percent say it’s going in the right direction.

The poll found similar discontent with the economy and health care under Bush. The environment was only referenced within the issue of oil consumption, although global warming is to me the biggest threat to our future on a round planet.

A curious part of the survey was asking people how they felt about Bush economic policies compared to Clinton’s. Not surprisingly, Bush came out the loser, with only 26 percent saying they favor the economy now over the economy then.

“For all his personal issues, if you try and lay that aside, Clinton was a very good president,” said Henry Lennon, a 59-year-old surgeon in Boca Raton, Florida, who voted for Bush in the last election. “Under the current economy the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. As a responsible person I think that’s wrong,” poll respondent Lennon said in a follow-up interview.

So as a responsible person, Henry, why’d you vote for Bush in 2004? You are what we around Pensito Review refer to as, “the problem.”