Too mean to die: Jesse Helms, aka “Senator No,” the irascible, arch-conservative, too-powerful, racist, homophobic, mean-spirited, mumble-mouthed ex-senator from North Carolina marks his 84th birthday today. He holds an honorary doctorate from Bob Jones University. ‘Nuff said.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
