Month: August 2005

Sweetheart Deal: AMI Paid Schwarzenegger’s Girlfriend for Story Then Suppressed It

Jon Ponder
In a related story, Heidi Fleiss – the Hollywood madam who threw the film industry into a panic after her arrest in 1993 when word came out that she had a little black book filled with the names of the rich and famous – is spending big bucks to open a luxurious brothel in Nevada.

Publishers of the National Enquirer promised to pay a longtime girlfriend of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger for the story of her affair – and then suppressed the story after announcing a multimillion dollar deal with the governor, the Los Angeles Times is reporting.

In August 2003, just days after Schwarzenegger announced he was running for governor of California, Enquirer publishers American Media Inc. (AMI) offered Gigi Goyette of Malibu $20,000 for exclusive rights to her story, and then never interviewed her or published her story.

Less than a week after AMI signed a contract with Goyette, the company signed the deal with Schwarzenegger, for at least $5 million. During his campaign for governor, the company published a 120-page magazine puff piece on Schwarzenegger as the poster-boy for the American dream.

Long before he was governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s personal life was fodder for supermarket tabloids like the National Enquirer. So it was strange, to say the least, that when he decided to run for office, Schwarzenegger suddenly announced that he’d signed the AMI deal.

Cynics – especially jaded film industry types familiar with the seamier, unreported aspects of Schwarzenegger’s personal life – were suspicious of the multimillion dollar deal between Schwarzenegger and his long-time tormenters, especially since it was publicized as a deal between Arnold and AMI’s line of muscle and fitness magazines, for which the former bodybuilder was supposedly editing an occasional column.

It was rumored that the structure of the AMI deal was actually inverse to the way it was being reported – that in fact Schwarzenegger had bought the company in order to silence the tabloids. If there is any truth to these rumors, it has yet to come to light.

Recently, Schwarzenegger was forced to cancel the deal because of charges he had a conflict of interest between the magazine’s advertisers in supplement industry which are subject to regulation by the state.

[…]

Postal Service to Change How It Handles Suspicious Packages

Buck Banks

According to the GovExec newsletter, the government’s General Accounting Office has issued a report critical of how the U.S. Postal Service handles suspiciouos and potentially dangerous packages. Following the GAO’s recommendations, the USPS is implementing a beefed-up training plan that includes Web-based, video and written instructions for its employees.

The training changes were precipitated by a specific incident:

GAO based its recommendations on an analysis of how employees at a Greenville, S.C., airmail facility reacted to the midnight discovery of an envelope marked: “Caution: Ricin Poison.” Ricin is a biotoxin derived from castor beans and can kill people within 36 to 72 hours of exposure.

In that case, Greenville employees initially treated the package like a routine shipment of a hazardous substance because it contained a warning label. Employees took some precautions, including moving the envelope to a secluded room and double-bagging it. But it took half a day for the facility manager to notify postal inspectors of the package, which ended up containing a metal vial that did test positive for ricin.

The incident ended without any confirmed cases of ricin exposure to workers. But it illustrated that employees did not follow all the procedures in place for handling suspicious packages, GAO reported. In addition, they failed to immediately identify it as a danger, the auditors said.

The emphasis of the new training program is on rapid response once a suspicious or dangerous parcel has been identified.

“Once we identify a potentially dangerous package, USPS employees will be instructed to expedite delivery to the intended victim in order to protect postal workers and facilities,” said Francis X. Carlton, a training consultant. “Once we complete this program, you won’t find a vial of deadly ricin sitting around in a post office for two or three days, potentially threatening the lives of innocent mailmen and -women.”

In related news, the USPS has issued new guidelines in Arabic and Farsi on how to properly label a package carrying hazardous substances, or a suspicious package containing a bomb, radiological substance, or biological or chemical agent meant to do harm, in order to expedite handling and ensure the parcel reaches its intended target.

Quick! Name the Most Densely Populated City in the U.S.

Jon Ponder

Who knew?:

The urbanized area in and around Los Angeles has become the most densely populated place in the continental United States, according to the Census Bureau. Its density is 25 percent higher than that of New York, twice that of Washington and four times that of Atlanta, as measured by residents per square mile of urban land.

And Los Angeles grows more crowded every year, adding residents faster than it adds land, while most metropolitan areas in the Northeast, Midwest and South march in the opposite direction. They are the sprawling ones, dense in the center but devouring land at their edges much faster than they add people.

Thanks to EW for the tip!

If It Wasn’t Cheney or Valerie Plame, Who Sent Joe Wilson to Niger?

Jon Ponder
Rove, Scooter Libby, Ari Fleisher and others had an irresistable impulse to smear Joe Wilson simply because he dared to challenge them in public, and even though they and their Dear Leader were, in fact, wrong.

After President Bush was caught lying in his 2003 State of the Union speech about Saddam’s nuclear capabilities – the infamous “16 words” about Niger and yellow cake uranium – a Rovian blame game was contrived that successfully confused and blurred the responsibility for the falsehood in the minds of the media and the rest of us.

(Ultimately, the Administration laid the blame on Stephen Hadley, an assistant to Condi Rice, who was National Security Adviser at the time. In classic Bush fashion, rather than being punished, Hadley was promoted. He was given Rice’s job when she moved over to State.)

However, a secondary blame game also ensued that has still not been resolved – and that has now become a central issue in the investigation into the Bush CIA Leak scandal, according to the Washington Post:

The origin of Ambassador Joseph C. Wilson IV’s trip to Niger in 2002 to check out intelligence reports that Saddam Hussein was attempting to purchase uranium has become a contentious side issue to the inquiry by special counsel Patrick J. Fitzgerald…

[…]

Trump Starts Weblog; Internet Surrenders

Buck Banks

There’s a new and improved reason why we here at Pensito World Headquarters are proud that we are not just another weblog — Donald Trump has started blogging on his Trump University site. It makes us glad that we are instead, in the words of Jon Pensito, “an on-line news and opinion journal” where the elite meet to bleat.

In an article on TechWeb.com, Alexander Wolfe quotes Michael Gartenberg, vice president and research director at Jupitermedia: “If Donald Trump is blogging, then blogging is about as mainstream as it gets.” Ew!

And while Gartenberg expressed hope that The Donald would embrace the medium and post a lot of cool, insightful stuff so “we could see what makes him tick,” a sampling of some of Trump’s postings bodes ill in the insight department:

June 28: Trump has ultimately become a great brand name due to my rigorous standards of quality. The Trump brand carries a promise that whatever bears the name will be elite.

July 5: I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about my legacy. The values I hold true and the buildings I’ve put up are intended to carry beyond the here and now; I want them to survive well past my own time on earth.

August 8: The glamour and grandeur of my buildings and my life are no mere trappings.

Add to that claptrap the fawning posts of Trump’s circle of obsequious toadies, and you’ve got something akin to a Trump fanzine for middle-aged white men:

From Adam Eisenstat, director of communications for Trump University, comes “Donald Trump is the colossus of the New York City skyline. He stands astride the buildings that bear his name–his signature branded on the cityscape.”

From Michael Sexton, president of Trump University, we get: “Donald Trump has long had a high profile, but only recently, with the popularity of The Apprentice, has he assumed the dimensions of a folk hero.”

Man, what I wouldn’t give to say “YOU’RE FIRED!!” to all three of these Bozos.

God Continues to Refuse to Call Jerry Falwell Home

Buck Banks

As further proof that a loving, merciful transcendent being does not exist, God did not call the Rev. Jerry Falwell home to heaven again this year. Falwell turned 72 today to the dismay of enlightened earthlings who continue to pray for a sign from God that Falwell’s work on the planet is complete.

Instead, Falwell continues his evangelical mischief, as evidenced by the Anti-Defamation League’s calls for him to retract his “vote Christian in 2008” statement in a fundraising letter.

According to the Lynchburg News Advance, Falwell claimed his statement was not meant to be anti-Jewish. Obviously, the ADL is not buying that particular line of B.S.:

“Rev. Falwell’s recent statements are directly at odds with the American ideal and should be rejected,” said ADL National Director Abraham H. Foxman. “Understanding the danger of combining religion and politics, our founding fathers wisely cre-ated a political system based on individual merit and religious inclusiveness.”

Falwell, pastor of Lynchburg’s Thomas Road Baptist Church, claimed his statement was misunderstood.

“What I was saying was for conservative Christian voters to vote their values, which are pro-life and pro-family,” Falwell said. “I had no intention of being anti-Jewish at all.”

According to the ADL, Falwell’s “vote Christian” appeal was included in a fundraising letter in which Falwell exhorted supporters to “call America back to God;” the letter included a bumper sticker with the legend, “I Vote Christian.”

In other news, Pat Robertson, who also has not been called home to God, issued a statement urging conservative voters to ask themselves “How would Jesus vote?”

THE TICKER – Snow: Economy not helping most :: Government reform sought in Ohio :: Charges against DeLay’s henchmen upheld

Jon Ponder

  • Snow: Economy not helping most: Treasury Secretary John W. Snow acknowledged yesterday that the Bush economy is not helping those who most need help.”One of the things we know is that less educated people have seen their incomes and wages grow more slowly. That’s what the numbers tell us.” Countdown starts now on Snow’s “retirement.”
  • Government reform sought in Ohio: Critics of the Republican grip on Ohio politics filed petitions on Tuesday that seek a statewide vote on three constitutional amendments that would overturn the way elections are run and strip elected officials of their power to draw legislative districts.
  • Charges against DeLay’s henchmen upheld: A Texas judge on Tuesday refused to dismiss charges of money laundering and accepting illegal political contributions against two of U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s flying monkeys.Their attorneys will appeal the ruling.

Congressional Leaders Will Pursue Ball Player’s Alleged Perjury While Ignoring Bush’s Lies to Congress

Jon Ponder
After what happened in the fall of 2002 and the winter of 2003, seeing Congress rise to protect its honor from the likes of Rafael Palmeiro is side-splittingly hilarious comedy. It’s like hearing a toothless, 55-year-old Bushwick Ave. whore complain—10,000 blowjobs later—that her date didn’t bring her flowers. And they want baseball to apologize?

The recent revelation that a baseball player named Rafael Palmeiro allegedly lied during a Congressional hearing while giving testimony about his use of steroids has been one of those stories that just seems like filler to me – stuff they talk about because August is a slow news month.

I mean, really, who cares if million dollar babies in the sports world shoot up? If these jokers are your kids’ role models, then you suck as parents.

But now comes word that two wingers in the Congress – Rep. Thomas Davis, chair of the House Committee on Government Reform, and Sen. Jim Bunning, a wacko of the first order from Kentucky (both Gops, natch) want to go after this guy for giving false testimony to Congress.

As Matt Tabbi brilliantly points in New York Press, these guys are breaking audacious new ground in the annals of hypocrisy by going after a ball player while ignoring the lies that President Bush has told to Congress that have led to the deaths of tens of thousand of U.S. servicemembers and innocent people:
[…]

GOP Dream Ticket for 2008: Dick Cheney & Montgomery Burns

Trish

Cheney and Mr. Burns: Separated at Birth?

There’s an uncanny resemblance between one Dick Cheney and dreaded Simpsons power plant owner Montgomery Burns. Besides their obvious physical similarities, the two share the same philosophy, the same outlook on life. Just read these quotes from Mr. Burns and see if they don’t remind you of a certain someone:

“What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?”

“Smithers… we have to stop dumping our nuclear waste in the playground, all those bald children are starting to raise suspicion.”

“Smithers, this is a golden opportunity. If we get him alive, we can put him on Broadway. Dead and we can sell monkey stew to the army!”

“Just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending, and they’ll ‘oink’ for more every time.”

“Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and she wants to quit because she’s losing? Well, I say Hard cheese!”

O.K., Mr. Burns doesn’t have the Cheney potty mouth nailed down, but there’s still a LOT of similarity. I think Dick is leading a double life.