Pete Hegseth’s war God is a wrathful, vengeful, violent Guy,
Who springs into action when the righteous missiles start to fly.
Pete’s God is a Christian evangelical,
With, we assume, adamantine testicles,
Who sends “overwhelming violence of action” raining down from on high.
Trump joined Israel to attack Iran with bluster and bravado,
But four weeks in, he’s looking for a way out of the imbroglio.
So he postponed blowing up Iran’s power lines,
Which, by the way, is a humanitarian crime,
Now it’s Tuesday in Tehran, and time for a typical Trump T.A.C.O.
In his latest fight against windmills, Trump seems to have won,
Canceling $1 billion in wind farm leases by a French corporation.
If the French invest it in American oil and gas,
We give them every one of the billion dollars back,
Which seems like a really stupid way for a government to be run.
And here we thought the Iran War was happening way over there,
In the Middle East, half a world away, so … nothing to fear.
Then the State Department had to blurt
A terrifying Worldwide Caution Alert,
Because, as it turns out, Americans aren’t safe on earth anywhere.
Trump’s sending ICE agents to airports to bolster the TSA,
‘Cause those TSA guys are calling in sick or working sans pay.
Now, if you try to carry on a 5-ounce shampoo,
Here’s what an ICE airport security agent’ll do:
Zip-tie your wrists and march you off to somewhere far, far away.
Elon throttled Starlink because Ukranians were killing Russians,
But by throttling it, Elon enabled Russians to kill Ukranians.
So the world’s richest, weirdest guy,
Gets to decide who lives and who dies?
That’s too much power in the hands of a dude who wants to be a Martian.
