When Peter Thiel and Don Jr. funded the Enhanced Games, they had one hope:
That Olympic-level athletes would perform better when competing on dope.
But world records went unbroken
And Pete and Donnie took a soakin’,
Now they’re stuck, sliding down that slippery, money-losing transhumanism slope.
Pentqgon Pete’s “Defensive” Department’s created a new Catch-22,
Hegseth’s war on the media is petty, but what’s a Fox host to do?
By designating the room “classified,”
He’s left reporters hamstrung and hog-tied,
Because the PRESS can’t access the Pentagon PRESS office, they’re screwed.
The Dems want to move on from 2024, but the Bidens won’t let them go.
Jill’s out with her memoir and making the rounds of the talk shows.
Joe’s suing the Department of Justice,
Hunter’s doing far-right podcasts,
Please just shut the F up Bidens, that means you: Hunter, Jill and Joe!
In negotiating with Iran, Trump can’t just pull a deal off the shelf,
Not after starting the war and then asking NATO allies for help.
The guy from “The Art of the Deal”
Is only good at the Art of the Steal,
And then he’s a great negotiator when he’s self-dealing with himself.
Elon throttled Starlink because Ukranians were killing Russians,
But by throttling it, Elon enabled Russians to kill Ukranians.
So the world’s richest, weirdest guy,
Gets to decide who lives and who dies?
That’s too much power in the hands of a dude who wants to be a Martian.
