Vodka’s Name Offends People Who Don’t Drink It with Reference to Custom They Don’t Practice

5wivesSince everyone knows that Mormons no longer practice polygamy (in this life) and they also don’t consume alcohol, how could they be offended by a vodka named “Fives Wives?” Uh, you got us there.

But the Idaho State Liquor Division has banned the new libation from being sold in the state, based on the idea that the 23 percent of Idahoans who are Mormon might take it personally.

“We feel Five Wives Vodka concept is offensive to a prominent segment of our population and will not be carried,” according to a letter from the Idaho State Liquor Division to an Idaho distributor wishing to carry it…

The head of Idaho’s liquor division acknowledged that Mormons don’t drink, or at least that they don’t admit it if they do.

“Presumably, people of the LDS faith would not be shopping in our [liquor] stores, but that does not mean that we are not sensitive to them.” But [Jeff Anderson] said Five Wives was rejected for other reasons, too, including the fact that vodka is a “crowded and competitive category” and that “there was nothing that really differentiated [Five Wives] other than its name and its label that had five women with cats in their crotches covering their genitals.

How anything differentiates a clear liquor with no taste is debatable. One wonders where Anderson worships, but that’s beside the point. Or is it?

While [Steve Conlin, director of marketing and a partner at Ogden’s Own, the Utah micro-distiller which makes the product] concedes the name could be seen as referencing polygamy (especially since it’s made in Utah), he said it carries many meanings. “The person who came up with name, she really liked the idea of five wives sitting around having a drink. There really is no pointed meaning to it and everyone can bring what they want to it … it’s not about making fun of Mormons at all. Quite simply it’s a name that seemed to fit.”

We’ll take his word, not having tried his vodka, that the name “fits” but I see no reason to protect the sensibilities of people who practice polygamy. Which of course, Mormons don’t. Anymore.

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