Suggestion for Bush’s Speech tonight: ‘I Resign’

My Fellow Americans,

I come to you with a heavy heart. While I have always enjoyed the trappings of the presidency – especially the servants and the planes and helicopters – I am bored with living in Washington and dealing with the Congress and having to read recaps of memos and news stories and watch DVDs of newscasts.

I could put up with that nonsense when I was popular and I could get my way. But now everybody in the world hates me, and the prospect of three more years of this shit makes me tired.

I just want to go home and ride my bike and work on my abs.

Therefore it is my decision to resign the presidency as of midnight tonight.

In parting, I would just like to say this: At least I got re-elected, which the Old Man couldn’t do. Oh – and I captured Saddam. He couldn’t do that, either.

Thank you, and God bless America.


2 thoughts on “Suggestion for Bush’s Speech tonight: ‘I Resign’”

  1. Jon,

    You warm my heart. Doubt we’ll hear what you suggest, but it would be a great day indeed.

    The theme of the distracted presidency is one that I’ve been pondering as well, you might enjoy…

    Attention President Disorder

    Distracted POTUS Penning Memoir: “The White House for Dummies”

    EWM – (August 18, 2005) White House officials are beginning to whisper about the disinterest and distraction emanating from the Oval Office and point to falling poll numbers and the Bush Administration’s failing agenda as the result of the President’s apparent apathy.

    But EWM has learned that the real problem is that Bush is sick of the job and planning for his post-presidency. And the shocking revelation that you will only read on EWM is that Bush is already shopping a book and major publishing houses are biting.

    In “The White House for Dummies” Bush eschews an articulation of his world view and lays out a formula for conducting a presidency with as little thought and effort as possible.

    EWM has obtained a treatment for the book and its chapter headings include advice for future Presidents (“Don’t Misunderestimate the Job, It’s Hard Work”); tips on managing the economy (“Make the Pie Higher”); and lessons in diplomacy (“Wars is Hard Work”)…

    Full article:

    Keep the faith people!
    Kind regards,

    The Muse

  2. As Bush fly’s back to White House with Condi.
    What happened in that there … uh town?
    Hurricane hit Louisiana. Destroyed much of the city..
    Can we blame it on Iran or syria?
    No, its an act of God.
    I hear God in my Head, and he said it was Iran who did it.
    Oh no honey, that is Rove talking in your ear-piece…
    Oh, I am always leaving that on.. whats that Rove? Not Now, I am talking to God.
    Rove laughing with Libby, Cheney is playing God again.

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