Daily Show on Bolton: Bush Doesn’t Give a &*%#

From “The Daily Show” on August 2, 2005. Unofficial transcript from JABBS:

JON STEWART: Alright, Rob. Considering the reception that Bolton is getting [at the U.N.], the hostility there, is the president concerned that he is perhaps sending the wrong message, by doing this to the world community?

ROB CORDDRY: Indeed, Jon, that’s exactly the kind of issue that would concern him, along with his deteriorating relationship with his own Congress, that is, if he gave a f–k, which Jon … which he doesn’t. Jon?

STEWART: I’m sorry, did you just say …

CORDDRY: Yeah, yeah, give a … yeah, I’m sorry, that uh, that was probably a little harsh. I didn’t have to put it like that. What I meant to say was the president doesn’t give two s—s.


STEWART: Rob, I find it very hard to believe that the president of the United States doesn’t care what his critics have to say.

CORDDRY: Really? Uh, well, consider this: Iraq is falling apart, North Korea is about to get the bomb, and he’s visiting his Crawford ranch for the 50th time. And in his mind, not only shouldn’t he be criticized for that, he can’t believe how much time he’s had to spend at the White House. You see, the president has a logic system that works for him. Here’s an example: You know Rafael Palmeiro?

STEWART: Yes, uh, the baseball player who was suspended for taking steroids, after he testified in Congress that he had never taken steroids.

CORDDRY: Right. Now you or I might look at Palmeiro’s positive drug test and say, “Wow, Rafael Palmeiro is a steroid user.” The president looks at that and says to reporters yesterday, “Palmeiro’s the kind of person that’s going to stand up and say he didn’t use steroids, and I believe him.” Or, to paraphrase (putting hands over ears): “LALALALALA.”


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