With the nomination of Judge John G. Roberts Jr. today, Pres. Bush struck an historic note for straight, neoconservative, white men, a group whose voice is often vastly underrepresented in American society.
“I believe John Roberts will speak for ‘the rest of us,’” Bush said during his live televised announcement. “Men like me, men of privilege. Rich men who just keep getting richer, thanks to my tax breaks. Men who play golf in exclusive country clubs and duck hunt with guaranteed minimum kills.”
Bush noted that Roberts was yet another of the men he felt comfortable selecting because they previously served in the one-term administration of his father, Pres. George H.W. Bush.
“He has the qualities Americans expect in a judge: a penis, European ancestry, and firm, resolute opinions,” Bush said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he drives a Hummer. Not a Hummer 2, mind you, but a Hummer.”
Roberts is expected to gain easy confirmation, since so many members of Congress can relate.