‘Christian Exodus’ Plans to Take Over South Carolina

As if there weren’t already enough Christians in South Carolina, now comes word that a group called Christian Exodus intends to take over the Palmetto State by over-running it with religious extremists who will convert it into a new evangelical Promised Land.

You have to give them credit for going after low hanging fruit. There is no redder state than South Carolina, and “values voters” dominate the state’s conservative base .

The Christian Exodus plan is to recruit like-minded true believers all over the United States to relocate to South Carolina. They intend to stage a rebellion at the ballot box, with Christian voters overwhelming nonbelievers to elect Christian officials into every state and local office – a democratic coup.

According to a local Fox TV affliate, a lot of South Carolinians would welcome the Christian jihadis:

“I think it’s fantastic, I think we need more of that actually. I don’t know which direction our government is heading in, but I think they need Christian influence, it would go a long way, I really think so,” says Mauldin resident, Reggie Brown.

Percy Croft of Greenville agrees, “America was founded on Christian principals…people with different views about Christianity, you have them getting into the elected positions and they don’t want to see this country stay the way it is, they want it to change…They’re getting away from what they were founded on.”

The challenges Christian Exodus faces is formidable. The population of South Carolina is over 4 million. Their plan could require up to 3 million new residents. Where will all these new people work or go to school?

Fortunately, Christian Exodus is starting small.

The Group says they plan on having 2500 Christians moved to South Carolina by September 2006, and will begin several political campaigns at that time. They hope to have a major impact on State government by 2014.

Ultimately, Christian Exodus believes that when Americans in other states witness the miraculous transformation of South Carolina under their taliban-style rule, they will elect Christian governments too. But if the other Americans refuse to see the error of their ways, the Christian state of South Carolina will vote to secede from the union. Again.

This time, we should just let them go.

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