The town of Pahrump, Nev. is bracing for a crime wave after passing ordinances meant to show foreigners who’s boss.
Although Pahrump experienced a 32 percent drop in criminal activity in recent years (more about this in a minute), that was before so much stuff became illegal.
First, there’s flying flags. Anyone who flies another country’s flag — say, just as a random example, Mexico’s — above an American flag, or worse yet, all by itself without an American flag, will get a $50 fine and 30 hours of community service.
Then there’s English. It’s now the official language of Pahrump, so don’t even think about speaking something else like — oh, off the top of my head — Spanish.
Finally, illegal immigrants will henceforth be denied benefits from the town. Which is kind of a hypothetical denial anyway.
“We don’t have any” benefits, town manager David Richards says. “If we ever have any, they’ll be denied to illegal immigrants.”
Pahrump is having a kind of time-delayed reaction to those uppity immigrants who made their presence known last spring.
The ordinance’s sponsor, Michael Miraglia, a retired Illinois state worker, said the flag restriction was a reaction to nationwide demonstrations in May against a crackdown on illegal immigration. He said he didn’t like seeing protesters waving Mexican flags and demanding immigrants not go to work that day.
“In Pahrump, we had Mexican restaurants closed that day,” he complained. “Only one restaurant stayed open.”
Well then, you can understand the outrage. It was probably a chain restaurant like Chili’s or Taco Bell. I’d pass a law too, I guess, but the American Civil Liberties Union is being a party pooper.
[Nevada board member Lisa] Rasmussen said the ACLU would probably take legal action against the town.
“People are nuts out there,” she says. “Totally nuts.”
Maybe so, but we at Pensito Review have a soft spot in our hearts for Pahrump. The town, about 60 miles closer to L.A. than Las Vegas is, arrested one Jon Ponder last year for robbing the Bank of America. Don’t worry, Buck and I made sure our Jon Ponder had an airtight alibi. Still, we’re keeping an eye on the town, just in case.
Our cat Ziggy (shown here as a pup) may — or may not — have come from Pahrump. One source told us he was born there, another said he was born in Vegas. Still, we often refer to him and his strange ways as “Pahrumpian.”
Two other notable happenings in Pahrump:
Pahrump is also known for its brothels.