If you’ve ever wished there were some way to make state-ordered executions more violent, one Florida state representative feels your…
Well, anyway, Rep. Brad Drake has filed a bill in the upcoming state legislative session to do away with lethal injections and instead provide death by electrocution and firing squad. Yes, I did say, “firing squad.”
Drake, R-Eucheeanna, said the idea came to him after having a conversation with a constituent at a DeFuniak Springs Waffle House…
What, I ask you, could go wrong when a Republican representative brainstorms legislation with the guys and gals at the Waffle House?
I had to turn to Google Maps to find Eucheeanna, even though I live in Florida. It looks like if you go to nowhere, Eucheeannna is right in the middle of it, in the panhandle, way inland.
It all started when somebody at the Waffle House, which is just down the road from Walton Correctional Institute, was upset about recent court rulings halting lethal injections because some had been found to be botched, so that the person was administered the drug which paralyzes the lungs and heart before the drug kicks in which causes unconsciousness in the brain.
Drake and his fellow diners want not just an ending to a life that was judged by the legal system to be beyond redemption, but vengeance and suffering.
Drake said lethal injection just allows a person to die in their sleep while a firing squad or electrocution would force Death Row inmates to think about their punishment “every morning.”
“I think if you ask a hundred people, not even talking to criminals, how would you like to die, if you were drowned, if you were shot, and if you say you were put to sleep, 90 percent of some of the people would say I want to be put to sleep,” Drake said. “Let’s put our pants back on the right way.”
While few Floridians outside the Waffle House understood what Drake meant about their pants, many have begun asking other questions. One commentor on the story asked facetiously:
Why stop with the firing squad? Go back to public hangings, or for those who are particularly heinous, have them drawn and quartered, with their heads mounted on pikes outside the prison.
Another asked:
How about we give the jury foreman a 357 Magnum, and instead of reading the verdict, he/she simply steps over to the defendant and caps him/her right there……..clean, quick, done.
I bet the gang at the Waffle House would approve of both those ideas. I smell a new bill in the air.
Personally I favor the spike through the body ala Count Dracula. We could line our highways and byways with all the bodies writhing in pain.
Crucifixion.