Well, now it’s official. What we liberals always suspected has been proven by science — conservatives’ brains are messed up, which is why they think and act the way they do.
According to a new study published in Current Biology, there is a marked contrast between liberal and conservative brains:
Substantial differences exist in the cognitive styles of liberals and conservatives on psychological measures [1]. Variability in political attitudes reflects genetic influences and their interaction with environmental factors [2,3]. Recent work has shown a correlation between liberalism and conflict-related activity measured by event-related potentials originating in the anterior cingulate cortex [4]. Here we show that this functional correlate of political attitudes has a counterpart in brain structure. In a large sample of young adults, we related self-reported political attitudes to gray matter volume using structural MRI. We found that greater liberalism was associated with increased gray matter volume in the anterior cingulate cortex, whereas greater conservatism was associated with increased volume of the right amygdala.
OK, since I don’t subscribe to Current Biology and I don’t want to pay $31.50 for a paper that confirms what I’ve thought all along — i.e., that conservatives have bad brains — I had to do some research to figure out what the abstract above really means.
According to some experts who published a paper on it, the anterior cingulate cortex (which is bigger in liberals) performs functions “central to intelligent behavior, that is, emotional self-control, focused problem solving, error recognition, and adaptive response to changing conditions, [that] are juxtaposed with the emotions in this structure.”
They go on to say that the anterior cingulate cortex contains a class of spindle-shaped neurons found only in humans and the great apes, which means they are a recent evolutionary development. No wonder conservatives don’t have big ones — they don’t believe in evolution, so their anterior cingulate cortex is the one God gave them 6,000 years ago when He made everything and wrote the Bible. The experts note that the spindle cells appear to be widely connected with diverse parts of the brain and therefore “may have a role in the coordination that would be essential in developing the capacity to focus on difficult problems.”
So liberals have brains that are more highly evolved, operate holistically basis and can focus on solving complex challenges.
According to another bunch of experts who wrote another paper after they stuck actual electrodes into the right amygdala (which is enlarged in conservatives) of actual people’s brains found that “electrical stimulations of the right amygdala induced negative emotions, especially fear and sadness.”
That pretty much gibes with what those of us with rockin’ anterior cingulate cortexes always suspected — conservatives are mostly motivated in thought and behavior by fear and sadness. That explains why conservatives gave us the Cold War, the War on Drugs, the nuclear arms race and Newt Gingrich’s sex life.
So the next time you get into a shouting match with some knuckle-dragging Neanderthal card-carrying Tea Party member, keep in mind that he or she has a bad brain. Speak a little more slowly, use similes instead of metaphors, and stand beyond arm’s reach because when you stimulate their right amygdala with your liberal logic, they are likely to get all fearsome and depressed and take a swing at you.
