When will you stop toying with us, Newt?
Yesterday you announced — a website — what a hoot!
You expect us to believe you’ve only just begun
To think about getting ready to maybe consider a run?
Fact is, Newt, you can’t beat Obama, so the question’s moot.
Pundits say that Trump’s $5,000 midterm bribe was an overreach,
And they agree that if lies were a crime, he’d be impeached.
Despite all the dividend promises he’s made,
The fact is, not one has ever been paid,
So even before the midterms, he already owes us $8,000* each.
*$5000 stimulus checks via “DOGE dividend”; $2000 stimulus checks via a “tariff dividend”; $1000-plus checks via “savings” from expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies
Dear Newt,
Your time has been up. Please go away!