Israelis Complete Settlement Evacuation
AMONA, West Bank – Club-wielding riot troops dragged away thousands of stone-throwing Jewish settlers Wednesday, evacuating this illegal West Bank outpost in the fiercest clash over settlements since Israel’s Gaza pullout. In the Middle East version of the game of Rock-Paper-Club, club always wins.
Iran, Hamas Reject Bush’s Call for Change
LONDON – Iranian and Hamas leaders rejected President Bush’s call for change in his State of the Union address. Sounds like the Axis of Evil just got a new member.
Collapsed Hall’s Designer Attempts Suicide
KATOWICE, Poland – A designer of the Polish exhibition hall whose roof collapsed and killed 63 people attempted unsuccessfully to commit suicide two days after the accident, an official said Wednesday. There’s a really crass Polack joke here, but we decline to make it.
Georgian Lawmakers Brawl During Debate
TBILISI, Georgia – Rival lawmakers in the Georgian capital’s city council brawled during a debate over the energy crisis suffered by the country in recent days. Wait, that wasn’t a brawl, that was the debate.
Magnitude-5.1 Quake Shakes Tokyo
TOKYO – A magnitude-5.1 earthquake shook central Japan on Wednesday, but there was no danger of a tsunami, the Meteorological Agency said. The danger of an attack by a giant radioactive lizard remained unchanged.
Saudis, Qatar Pledge $33M to Palestinians
JERUSALEM – Israel has frozen this month’s transfer of $45 million in tax rebates and customs payments to the Palestinian Authority while it reviews its options following the Hamas victory in last week’s parliamentary election, an Israeli government official said Wednesday. “They say Israel doesn’t exist, we say, Money, what money?” he added.
