Month: August 2024
Pave Our Parks
Florida’s Ron DeSantis has always been a fan of sports,
But his current game is enriching his GOP cohorts.
He feels it’s his Christian duty
To double down on meanness and cruelty,
So he’s turning our state parks into golf courses and pickleball courts.
The Harris Quote That Created MAGA’s ‘Dorito-Gate’
“It was election night for me as well. It was incredibly bittersweet. When I took the stage for my acceptance speech — to represent California in the Senate — I tore up my notes. I just said, ‘We will fight.’ Then I went home and I sat on the couch with a family-sized bag of nacho Doritos. I did not share one chip with anybody. Not even [second gentleman] Doug [Emhoff]. I just watched the TV with utter shock and dismay.Two things are true eight years later: I still love Doritos and we still have not stopped fighting.”
– Vice Pres. Kamala Harris in an Aug. 16, 2024, fundraising letter. Her mention of Dorito’s has, predictably, triggered right-wing outrage.
Not a Rambling Man
“They will say he’s rambling. I don’t ramble. I’m a really smart guy.”
– Donald Trump claiming that he is not a rambling man at a rally in Pennsylvania on Aug. 17, 2024
Secretary of Losing
With his presidential campaign on all but life support,
RFK Jr. is lobbying for a cabinet post, according to reports.
He’s approached the Trump campaign,
And with Harris, sought the same,
But so far, no one has promised him Secretary of Dead Bear Transport.
Seth Myers Skewers the Dumbest Part of the Trump-Musk X–Space Fest
“Only a genius chess-master Jedi wizard would do a conference call on a dying app with a South African vampire and, after a 40-minute technical delay, brag about how awesome it is to fire people during a campaign where the number-one issue is jobs.”
— Seth Myers, on “Late Night with Seth Myers”
Biden: We Have Our Own Project 2025
“Let me tell you what our Project 2025 is … Beat the hell out of them.”
— President Biden, at a campaign rally with Vice President Kamala Harris.
It’s Official: JD Vance Is Less Popular Than Sarah Palin
-9.3
Ohio Sen. JD Vance is now the most unpopular vice presidential nominee in modern history—soaring past former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s unfavorability ratings during the 2008 campaign. According to FiveThirtyEight’s polling tracker, Vance had a -3 point net favorability/unfavorability rating among the public at large in July when he was selected as former President Donald Trump’s running mate. His net favorability has deteriorated significantly since then, now sitting at -9.3 points. Gov. Palin, who ran alongside 2008 Republican nominee John McCain, only reached a net favorability rating of -2 points during the campaign, according to ABC News, FiveThirtyEight’s parent company.
One Lame Campaign
It’s pretty widely agreed: Trump’s campaign is a hot mess,
No one asserts anymore he’s playing thee-dimensional chess.
It’s a funny kind of campaign,
Based on lies, invective and blame,
And featuring press conferences at his golf courses — without the press.
