Here’s Our Chance
Ebola’s a tough bug, and medically it vexes.
We want it quickly contained before it infects us.
Well, they wanted to secede,
So let’s give ’em what they need.
We think its high time we quarantined ALL of Texas.
Year: 2014
Maybe Republicans Really AREN’T People, Too
In its new “Republicans Are People, Too” advertising campaign, the GOP is going to some lengths to show that party members are, variously, guys with beards and tattoos, young black women, Prius drivers and young dudes who read the New York Times.
But according to TPM, the images used in the ads are all stock photos that have been used in other campaigns or, more egregiously, show a young man holding the Wall Street Journal who is, the ad alleges, reading the New York Times. Whoops!
The Republican Party’s ad agency really is clueless, too. Really.
Kind of reminds me of a little limerick I wrote.
Carter: It was More Important to Not Kill Innocents than to Appear ‘Manly’
I could have wiped Iran off the map with the weapons that we had, but in the process a lot of innocent people would have been killed, probably including the hostages.
— Jimmy Carter, in an interview with CNBC, defending his decisions even if it meant he didn’t show “that I was strong and resolute and, um, manly.”
John Boehner Hasn’t Spoken to Ted Cruz Since His Election
I’ve not talked to him since he’s been elected.
— Speaker John Boehner (R-OH), in an interview with the Cincinnati Enquirer, on Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX).
Ryan Won’t Run If Romney Does
I wouldn’t if he were. I would support Mitt. If he were to run, I would not.
— Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), telling HuffPost Live he definitely won’t mount a presidential campaign if his former running mate Mitt Romney decides to give it another try.
Longtime ‘Colleague and friend’ Refuses to Cut Commercial for Pat Roberts
There’s just disappointment around the state. They feel they don’t know him now.
— Former Sen. Nancy Kassebaum Baker (R-KS), explaining to the Kansas City Star why, as his “colleague and friend of more than 30 years,” she refused to tape a TV commercial for Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS).
New Jersey’s Love Affair with Christie Is Over
46%
Of New Jersey voters approve of how Gov. Chris Christie (R) is doing his job — one of his lowest job approval ratings ever — as 45% disapprove, a new Quinnipiac poll finds. Just 11 months ago Christie won re-election with 60% of the vote.
Craig’s ’07 Arrest in Sex Sting Continues to Cost Him
$242,535
Amount a federal judge in the District of Columbia has ordered former Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) to pay to the Department of the Treasury in relation to his 2007 arrest in a Minnesota airport bathroom sex sting, Roll Call reports. The Federal Election Commission filed the complaint against Craig in 2012, alleging he illegally converted campaign money for personal use because the legal expenditures were not “made in connection with Mr. Craig’s campaign for federal office.”
What’s the Secret?
Really now, what’s the Secret Service good for?
We know they excel at secretly drinking with whores.
So why keep an agency
To protect the presidency
When intruders can walk through the White House’s front door?
