Day: June 7, 2011

John R. Butler’s Hymn for Our Times, ‘Hand of the Almighty’

Jon Ponder

“Hand Of The Almighty,” by John R. Butler. (WARNING: CONTAINS PROFANITY – If you’re easily offended, you may want to find something else to watch.) This is from “The Best of the Red Peters Comedy Music Hour, Vol. 1” This song is also known by the title “God Will Fuck You Up”

Lyrics:

Oh sinner do not stray
From the straight and narrow way
For the Lord is surely watching what you do
If you approach the Devil’s den
Turn round don’t enter in
Lest the hand of the Almighty fall on you

He’ll fuck you up (he’ll fuck you up)
Yes God will fuck you up
If you dare to disobey his stern command
He’ll fuck you up (he’ll fuck you up)
Don’t you know he’ll fuck you up
So you better do your praying while you can

Long ago a man named Lot
Had a wife he thought was hot
But she could not stop her black and sinful ways
You know it was her own damn fault
When God turned that bitch to salt
That’s the way he used to work back in those days

He fucked him up (he fucked him up)
He really fucked him up
When the people went and turned their backs on him
He can fuck you up (he’ll fuck you up)
No shit he’ll fuck you up
Just like he fucked the people up back then

I used to have a friend named Ray
Who walked that evil way
He cursed and drank and broke his neighbor’s fence
You know Ray was full aware
That some sheep were over there
And he knew them in the Biblical sense

God fucked him up (he fucked him up)
He went and fucked Ray up
Went and paid him back for all his wicked sins
He fucked him up (he fucked him up)
Fucked that boy completely up
Now he’s married to a Presbyterian

Hat tip – and Happy Birthday – to JS

Can Weiner Stay in Office?

Buck Banks

If the facts keep coming out more and more, and people start freaking out, he talked on the congressional phone or something like that, it’s going to be, it’s going to be iffy. And one of the reasons is he is a talented guy, but he’s not a particularly popular guy in the caucus … They are really mad at him. You can just see former speaker Pelosi is furious.

— James Carville, in an interview on ABC News, on whether Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) can remain in office after admitting to lying about sending lewd photos to women online.

Good/Bad: The Weiner Scandal

Pensito Editors

scalesNow that the Anthony Weiner scandal is receding in the rearview mirror (kind of), we weigh in on the good and bad results.

Bad thing: Andrew Breitbart gained credibility, though he lost some of that when he upstaged Weiner at Weiner’s own press conference, and came off like a egomaniacal ideologue on the order of Joe McCarthy.

Good thing: Distracted media from Sarah Palin for a nanosecond.

Bad thing: Timing — distracted everyone from the fact that Weiner is on the committee that was going to look into Justice Clarence Thomas’ tax returns and Ginny Thomas’ missing income, like nowish.

Good thing: Weiner’s social media incompetence has encouraged everyone else to study up on how to send a direct message on Twitter and how to reply on Facebook.

Bad thing: The long-lasting vision of Weiner’s gum-smacking e-paramour being interviewed on TV.

Good thing: Mrs. Weiner had the good sense and class to not stand by her man at the press conference.

Bad thing: Weiner’s a pervo loser who got caught in a sex scandal, and now doesn’t even have the pleasure of remembered actual sex acts; all he has are crotch shots — of himself.

Good thing: Tighty whiteys are all the rage on Capitol Hill this summer!