Pres. Lame W. Duck

Looks like Pres. Lame W. Duck will spend the last two months of his presidency the same way he spent the entire eight years: royally screwing things up.

The Bush administration raced last week to relax a wide array of regulations before its time in office expires. If enacted before President-elect Barack Obama is sworn in, the rule changes could be reversed only after a lengthy and cumbersome review. Among other things, the changes would lift restrictions on commercial ocean fishing, ease controls on power plants’ emissions, relax drinking-water standards, and loosen restrictions on dumping mining waste. Consumer and environmentalist groups protested, but the White House said the proposals were in “the best interests” of the nation. “And yes,” said White House spokesman Tony Fratto, “we’d prefer our regulations stand for a very long time.”

It could be worse, you say? At least he’s not raiding the White House for office furniture like Bill and Hillary Clinton did? Actually the Clintons got a bad rap. That’s right — lies were told about the Clintons. Shocking, isn’t it?

It was the stuff of sensational news reports and indignant commentary. Departing Clinton staffers, the reports said, had shamefully vandalized the White House, destroying office furniture, leaving obscene greetings on voice-mail machines, and defacing walls with graffiti mocking incoming President George W. Bush. The Clintonites had even trashed Air Force One, wrote the late presidential spokesman Tony Snow, then a columnist, leaving it looking “as if it had been stripped by a skilled band of thieves.”

Except that it never happened. After a yearlong, $200,000 investigation, government inspectors said White House offices suffered only ordinary wear and tear. Nothing was taken from Air Force One. And what little intentional damage had been inflicted in the White House was trivial, such as scraping the “W” off computer keyboards. “What often happens in Washington,” Snow later explained, “is that gossip becomes news. That’s not a good thing.”

The Bush administration is leaving things screwed up enough for Barack Obama, but as long as it’s still in office, there’s always potential for more. If history is any indicator, Bush and Cheney have plenty more depravity up their sleeves.